A
female
age
30-35,
*liceinunderland
writes:Hey guys, I apologise for the length of this post, I did post it previously but to no avail.On my third day of working with my new "boss" (he's my boss, not the boss) I asked him a question after one of my colleagues. For her he didn't get out of his seat, but for me, he got up stood in front of my desk, looked me straight in the eye and said: "Look, you made me get up now."As he spoke he gestured down his abdomen with his hands. I blushed as he stared waiting for response. I think I may have taken it wrong in my mind.The next week the same happened. But he said: "I'll get up for you..."Since then we have developed a sort of friendship. As professionally as possible. But what gets me is at lunch or on breaks if I see him and we talk, he asks about what I'm getting up to at weekends or what I've done. Yet if I ask him he seems to always answer with "Not much." or "I don't know."Why is he so secretive? I know he has a girlfriend. Why does he get to ask me, but I can't ask him?I'll admit I do fancy him.Sometimes when he is speaking or teaching me something new I will correct him of he stumbles on his words and he smiles when I laugh. He also stares at me a lot. Some days more than others. Some days he completely ignores my presence. Sometimes we have the odd sly joke. Involving a little dirty minded play.I can't tell if he's just being friendly or he's into me. In meetings, which we have weekly, he always stands near me. I've moved seats every week to see if he changes where he stands. He always stands by me and always stares as I play with my hair and he always ends up looking down at himself and adjusts his suit.Is he into me? What do I do? Can I be subtle and trigger more from him?Thanks guys.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2011): I have been in exactly the same position as you and I have posted similar to what you have. Most of my answerers have been similar to what you have had.Seeing that I am more closer to what you have experienced I understand more the intense feelings. Like what you have been told, dont allow yourself to be used. He clearly is attracted to you. I experienced the stares and the preening just like you did. I am fortunate that I have now left the company but still maintain contact.If I was you I would see how far he takes it. Do not flirt back. He may be in a position like I was and wanted out of a relationship and looking for a new one. (Its not wise to have relationships at work. You may want to quit if this does happen). Remember people are also picking up on the chemistry as they did with me. This too can be embarrassing for the boss.On a more positive note, loads of people who marry met at work. See how it goes but be professional. Obviously if he trying to say something to you, listen and take note. It would be a shame to miss out on what could have been a good opportunity of happiness.Good Luck!
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (20 April 2011):
 Well the reason why he wont tell you about his weekends etc is because he has a girlfriend and doesnt want to talk about her with you. All his weekend activities will be with her - you are just some young cute thing to look at while he is working.
Look - regardless of whether he likes you or not, there are 2 very strong reasons why he will never want to be with you and why nothing can ever happen:
1. He is YOUR boss - he might not be the main boss, but he is your manager at least. Therefore he could jeapordise his job by having an affair with you, hence why he would never bother. It is too much risk for very little reward.
2. He has a girlfriend! You dont want to be his woman on the side now do you?! Even if he is attracted to you, he has not acted on it and has not done anything to indicate he wants to take it further, so for now he is at least being a decent guy by being faithful to his girlfriend. Hopefully he is not a cheater and will never try anything on with you. But even if he does, do you want to be his bit of teenage fun on the side? Do you want to be involved in an affair? Do you deliberately want to hurt another person (his girlfriend)? I bet the answer is no - so dont even go there!
This sounds to me like he might be attracted to you, but he understands his position at work and has a girlfriend - therefore he is not considering acting on it. This is something you will learn as you grow up - men and women can be attracted to each other without wanting anything more, it is perfectly natural. There is often flirting at work when you are attracted to someone, but it is harmless flirting that means nothing. Attraction is so common, there will be hundreds of people you meet who are physically attractive and you get on well with. But you can leave it there, and many adults will experience this frequently throughout their lives. The differences between adults and teenagers in this situation is that the adult can recognise the attraction and not need to do anything about it, whereas the teenager fancies someone and then decides that becuase of that, they must be 'into' you and something can happen.
Overall, I would say this man is probably attracted to you but nothing more. There is no future in this and nothing good for you in this situation, so maybe back off a little bit and let yourself get over your crush on him.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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