A
female
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anonymous
writes:I have a huge problem! I can't talk to people at all. I have no friends, NO FRIENDS! and I don't know how to make any. I've had friends, but since me and my boyfriend got together, it's been me and him every day. I love every day and can never wait to see him, but he thinks it's not healthy to not have any friends. I mean, I wouldn't mind having some girlfriends to talk to sometimes, but I don't know how to go about making friends. The friends that I had (which is a total of 3) seem like they have no time for me and 2 of them smoke pot, which I quit, and the other one never calls me, so they're really not the best of friends to begin with. I have a hard time talking to people and never know what to say. Can anyone help me please? I feel that this isn't right and I can't live my whole life without having friends. Will I ever get better? HELP PLEASE! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2006): I am exactly like you. I used to have normal friends, but only 3 best friends. When I got a boyfriend I stopped talking to the rest of my friends besides my bestfriends at the time. But two moved away and one turned goth and doesn't go out in the sun anymore...wierd. Ever since then I haven't been able to make friends. My old friends are from school and I go to college, but it's not like we have recess and have a reason to talk anymore. Just like me, I think this woman needs advice on how to talk to people...not just to go out and join a club. When I start talking to people...I freeze and don't know what to say. If I had health insurance or more money I would go to a counselor to figure out my problem because I have one. If you are able to seek counseling I highly suggest that you do. It is nothing to be ashamed about, it's better that you are trying to better yourself.I hope you'll be able to have friends soon.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2006): You are not going to have no friend for the rest of your life. It is all about going out and make new friend. You have to have some initiative to make some new friends. You can't just sit at home and want to make friend. Try to attend orietantion, function, etc. Well, i experienced the same problem when i have a bf too. But i do try to go out and make friend. I don't want to see him as one world, when i lose him i lost the whole world. That's bad. Believe me, you could new friend. Try to talk to the one who sit next to you wherever you are. You will manage to make some conversation if you open your mouth first. All the best :)Claire-
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A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx  +, writes (25 January 2006):
 No, you're right, this is not healthy. We all need friends to talk to, as boyfriends will come and go, they will always be there for us. You just end up too clingy and dependent on him and both of you end up unhappy and insecure.
The 'friends' you had before don't sound like the best kind of people to be hanging around with so you're probably better of without them. You dont need people with habits like that who are probably only going to drag you down the wrong road anyway.
I'm sure you're a great person, you just need to get out there and meet some new people, then have the confidence to talk to them and make friends. Join a club or something, a sport or whatever, and get to know people you have things in common with. If you're confidence is really low, why not consider counselling to get to the bottom of it?
I don't know how you cope having no one to bitch to about your boyfriend!!! I know he may be lovely and all but surely he does your head in sometimes?! Get out there and meet new people, do new things and you'll love the new you - and so will your guy!!! Good luck
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