A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hi, i need some help i have a major problem with jealopusy and insecurity, my boyfriuend has a female friend who i personally think is a slut and who flirts with him he says she doesnt but she does, and somefriends have noticed this is how i found out. He tried to stop seeing her fo a while but that didnt work cause there friends and have the same friendship group, anyway him being around her hen others are there or not makes me mad, i cna help it i just get mad becuase he seems to think so highly of her and always defends her when i havent even said anything bad im just honest about me feelings. I get mad and jealous over her and constantly compare myself to her even though i hardly know her and dont like her because i feel that he thinks so highly of her, he says he doesnt that im more improtant, he loves me , ill allways come first but i still get like that. How do i stop?please help xxx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2008): Hi
Good that u recognise your prob, all you need to do is FOCUS on YOU...not her, no comparing because we are all different and unique. Make the best of everything you are physically, spiritually, mentally and emotionally. First i think you should stop this dislike of her because it is not real and is not fair, even try and like her. Strange twist experience for me once.. i dumped my boyfriend when he slept with some woman, i started a new job and my supervisor took me under her wing etc..we got on great...found out weeks later she was the woman! ouch..i had a choice ..my previous dislike of this woman i never knew or the friend i had just made. We both ended up laughing about it and it was one great learning curve for me...we are all in this life together and have to try and find laughter and love not hate and envy etc. When someone achieves be happy for their success's..because underneath they might just be like yourself with weaknesses. ONLY FEAR and you can combat jealousy by looking within at your good points, don't make your boyfriend have to protect his Friend..you are calling fear to you by your own actions and words. I wish you well...it is u he wants but let him have the freedom of friends or you are imprisoning him.
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