A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm a 29 y.o. female. Before I met my boyfriend of 1.5+ years, I had 3 long term boyfriends, a bunch of short term relationships, and a ton of casual dates- in search of finding the guy i could really love. I had my first bf when I was 13 so that is 16 years of dating.On the other hand, my boyfriend had been a good boy, not ever having dated anyone before. Not a virgin, but he has the luxury of being a man so when the time comes he can pick who he wants. He's funny, super tall, great body, intelligent, ambitious so he can rest easy knowing he can just pick. no, this is not a case of bad self-esteem on my part, but I want to explain that he's not a loser and that's why he's never dated. Also, he's a bit scared of growing up so moving very slowly when he began dating.Sometimes things come up where i have to refer to an ex. After all, they were part of my life- some for a few months, some for years. I don't want any of them, but regard it as "things that happened" or "history" and not much of a yearning. Sometimes I am proud of my prowess of getting a great guy, of course this does not go well w/ my bf. Though he is the best of all, of course. And, sometimes situations come up where I can't help but let it slip, b/c of a common topic. I know he doesn't want to know anything about my exes, as men don't like to hear that stuff. My best friend's bf has a real hang up on that and harps on it. Mine doesn't want me to talk about them, because he realizes i can't change the past, but it bothers him to hear about it. Prefers to think of me as pure. Unfortuantely i have the combination of being Not pure, and also very gregarious and talk about it from time to time. I wish my bf was my first bf, and would be if I KNEW he'd be coming around, but I had to get to know a lot of ppl before I can tell whether or not we were compatible. I wish these kinds of things wouldn't slip out b/c it bothers him, but I spend so much time w/ my bf that sometimes they do. it bothers him a bit.Add to the contrast that he is very new to dating compared to me. To not have dated anyone at the age of 28 would be a bit ludicrious. Logically he knows that. But would he leave me for someone... or perhaps an 18-yo w/ no experience... all purity? (Though in this day and age ppl seem to grow up quick). I'll try to censor my mouth, but ... I can't be on guard at all times.What do you think?
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2010): Cat's already out of the bag, so if it bothers him, it will always be there, bothering him. I empathize with you, as I tend to talk about my past too much too, but ironically, I like to hear about my GF past. Yes, it hurts sometimes, knowing that one guy was better at this or that, or bigger, or hotter, or wealthier, or whatever, but unless a girl TOTALLY keeps her mouth shut, some half truths come out, and guys instinctively piece together stuff. If it doesnt add up, they get suspicious, fictionalize and that is worse than just having the facts up front...at least to me it is. But out of respect, keep your mouth shut.
A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (12 September 2010):
 It's very likely he'll leave you if you don't keep your mouth shut. We see men on this site most days in torment over learning too much about their girlfriends pasts. They end up thinking they are sluts, and dump them. It happens all the time.
Stop now before it's too late. Take this seriously or you'll ruin your relationship.
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