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I can't stay away from my ex. What can I do?

Tagged as: Breaking up, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 March 2006) 5 Answers - (Newest, 26 April 2006)
A male , anonymous writes:

Hi,

I could really do with some advice concerning my now ex girlfriend. To cut a long story short, we broke up about a week ago after a very on off relationship (more off from her point of view). One minute she would confess her undying love for me, the next she'd say that she was worried about how incompatible we were. The thing is, since we've split I can't get my mind off her. I know that she's over me - she's told me so and she has also said that I obviously felt more for her than she did me during the relationship. Hence the reason she's got over me and of course it's been her that's finished it - for the second time I hasten to add.

Thing is I can't keep away from her. I'll drive and park near her flat. I'll go for a walk nearby. I don't really know why because when I do see her my stomach lurches and I feel DESPERATE to follow her - just to be close to her. It feels like addiction withdrawal - seriously! I'm still wanting her to txt me to say that she'll have me back. I KNOW this is futile but it's driving me insane. She's even said to me on the phone "...I don't know what you want from me" She can feel my pain. How do I get over her? My head is COMPLETELY preoccupied with her. I know this is going to sound like a contradiction but although I do everything to be close to her - wait by her flat, see if her car's there etc., to actually see her completely screws me up and puts all the pain back again. I know this sounds terrible, but it would be easier if she had died. At least then I'd NEVER see her again and could get on with my life. Do you think I should seek help with this?

View related questions: broke up, ex girlfriend, my ex

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2006):

Hello

Are you still making sure your near your ex by parking up near her. Why do this to yourself? How can you be sure she doesn't know your watching? How often have you spoken to her since posting this in March, has she given you any hope that you could get back together? Maybe you should see if she wants to go for a drink, meal, walk anything cause at least that way you can stop hiding in bushes. When you see her I assume its busy which is why you have thought of following her. Walking past her home is likely to get you noticed and annoy her maybe.

Good Luck

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A female reader, Starrla +, writes (19 March 2006):

Starrla agony auntIt's comepletly normal to still have feeling for her and all.But seriously You need to get out of the house and go meet other girls bec. apparently she doesn't want too see you anymore,and if this situation gets any worse I think you should seek some help.

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A female reader, willywombat United Kingdom +, writes (18 March 2006):

willywombat agony auntGive yourself a chance to heal. Stay away from her and the places she goes. After all it has only been a week since you split. Move on and let her do the same before it gets out of hand and you end up with a criminal record.x

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A female reader, shania United Kingdom +, writes (18 March 2006):

shania agony auntThis has got out of hand...your girlfriend doesnt want to see you anymore,yet you keep stalking her....that is very unhealthy,how will you get over her if you keep hounding her all the time? If anything....you are making things 10 times worse and i dare say your probably making your ex girlfriend uncomfortable as well....is that want you want? No one likes rejection but im afraid its a sad fact of life.To move on you have got to let go...that means,no walks in her local park,sitting outside her house and phoning her.....its going to be hard but you have got to let go because you are going to make yourself ill.If your still suffering and its getting to the point of obsession,then i suggest you go to your doctors.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2006):

Yeah, you should definitely seek help. Because it could be nothing more than the awful pain that accompanies lots of break-ups, or it could be something much worse. Your post sounds scary - I'd be worried what might happen if you don't get some help in dealing with this. You obviously don't want that, so do something now to get help.

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