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male
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anonymous
writes: OK so here's the situation: I realized I need some space from my ex who broke up with me but promised there's a definite chance for us in the future. I've been trying for 2 months now, but it's just way too stressful being around her now and I can't be her friend right now. Although I'll miss her terribly, I guess I have to distance myself for my own well being. So what's the best way to tell her this but still leave things open for the future?? Any ideas?? Thanks...
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reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (22 August 2006):
 Thats a hard thing to do trust me. Because you are always going to want more. I think Andy J had the best advice. Do things to take your mind off of her. Don't contact her and don't make an effort to see her. She's not bothered by you right now. She tells you that there is a definite chance only to keep you as a back-up in case this single thing doesn't work out and it won't. Then after she see's that you are really genuine then she'll try for you. Typical. Take Andy J's advice and don't be the back-up guy. You're worth more. Good Luck.
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male
reader, Andy J +, writes (21 August 2006):
 Mate im 19 and my x broke up with me about 5 weeks ago now and we went out last sat cos she wanted 2 talk to me about us...i asked her what she wants from me, she said " to be civil and try and be friends"...it just doesnt happen though mate, cos 1 hour later we kissed and she started to cry again and she said im v confused about what to do etc yea yea, but u'll always want more though mate its just natural because human beings naturally want what they cant have...the best thing to do is what ive done and just go out with ur mates, clubbing, the pub, watch a movie etc but just do sumin to take ur mind off her...ull b ok just try and not contact her at all...it hard but thats the only thing u can do and just wait 4 her to contact u...take care mate...
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2006): She is playing games with you. Get yourself a clean brake don't tell her this just send her to "coventry", if she wants to see you she will contact you. It is very difficult to let go but she probably isn't to bothered at the moment about you. Absence makes the heart grow fonder...try and move on she will call you if she want too.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2006): All of my ex's want to stay friends, but over time, I just let things slip and we lose touch. You don't have to do anything, nor do you have to exert energy here.
There is no such thing as 'definite chance'. Don't be silly from your vulnerable emotions.
If she calls, you can talk for a few minutes. If she asks you to go out with her, you can either do that or keep yourself busy with other things. Etc.
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