A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi all,Me and my ex broke up in November last year, it was pretty nasty and involved him cheating and me walking in on it. Since then I have moved on and dated a couple of other guys etc. However this afternoon I was walking though a shopping centre and saw someone who looked like him. I started to get really angry and started shaking a bit. I had to grab a seat and sit down for 10 minutes to get to grips with what was going on inside my head. I sat down and just wanted it to be him and to go back out there and beat him up. I'm not a violent person but I felt soo angry at the thought of walking past him in the street. What is wrong with me? I thought I was over this? I said to myself I don't hate him because I don't want to tear myself up inside with resentment. What should I do with myself?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2010): This is a totally natural feeling suddenly seeing your ex.
I'm sure you are over him, just the sight of him may have "triggered off" feelings and reminded you after finding out about his infidelity.
Just put this incident behind you (like you did with your ex when you two broke up) and carry on with life as if it never happened.
A
male
reader, steve jones +, writes (29 August 2010):
i can understand your reaction, look at it this way... what you are experiencing is a external reaction to something you have no control over. You experience pain with your ex because of how it ended, it was not something you could control at all, it was a external situation every time you think of that say to the thought in your head " i will not engage you" trust me it will go away. It is a thought loop event - reaction - pain, break the chain and you will be free. Remember you have no guilt no blame nothing at all to do with this situation it was all external out of your control. DO NOT ENGAGE THE THOUGHT when it enters your head otherwise it will lead to more pain and misery for you. Good luck in the future and try my advice it works trust me
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