A
male
age
30-35,
*im Kirk
writes:Well, I'm just posting this 'cause I'm tired. I've been thinking about this the whole morning and even had some bad dreams during the night. Here's my problem:I have a girlfriend that I really love. I want us to stay togheter for a long time. She's smart, beautiful and, to be honest, the sex is great. But nothing could be so perfect. She's also a shy girl, and in many situations she's extremely imature. I try to understand that because she's only 17. I'm 19 and I've seen that, two years ago I was very imature too. Until now, these are things I can deal with. Problem is, there are other stuff I just can't stand. And these are my real problems with her. Her friends. She's got a problem with friends, they're just a few - five, I guess, and she treats'em like untouchable people. Two of these friends are guys. She seems to adore them. And when I say "adore", I mean, adore like GODS or something. One of the guys is my friend too and lives here in this very same town. The other one is in another state, she met him during a trip last year. The first guy, I know him very well. Actually, I know her because he introduced us. Problem is that they actually flirted for some time in the past, that I know, before we started dating. He said directly to me that he is not interested in her anymore. They're only friends. She says the same. Anyway, I don't like them walking around togheter. I hate the way she hugs him, because...it's like the hugs she gives me. I hate the way she talks about him. And this takes me to the other problem: The other friend. Although this guy is all the way across the country, I hate their friendship even more. They chat every day through live messenger. She comes to my house everyday, and she's always late, because she was talking to him. Every little thing that reminds her of the city he lives, the way he talks, his look, anyway, that reminds him, causes a big smile at the same time. That's it, something is related to the guy? Smile. And she talks. A LOT. "Oh he's so nice I'd like to see him he's my best friend Do ya know he gave me a book? We spent hours just talking oh I'd like to seem him he was dressed all in black and he loved the same bands as I did and I guess I'll never see him again because he's so far...(she starts to become sad)...I can just talk to him on the internet, I miss him...", and so on and so forth, for an hour or more. Yes, without pauses. In the past I would be angry as hell with all this talking. Now, I learned there's nothing to do about it. If I say that I absolutely HATE the fact that she likes so much theses friends, she gets pissed. And sad. Altogheter. I can just listen. IT KILLS ME. Yesterday, she started talking like this, about the second guy, because they first met each other a year ago. And I had to listen. The same stuff all over again. I tried to stay calm. I tried to show her I don't apreciate all that, being polite. She couldn't understand. Just kept talking. Them she stopped, and I was willing for some kisses, or something more, but no. "Well, I have to go", she said. I lost one night, just to hear about her stupid friend. So, I had to make it clear that I wanted her with me, and listening to me, for awhile. She said "Oh, you always want things to happen when you want." F*ck. So, I took her home. When we were walking down the street, I said something like "Hey baby, you can talk about him, but them come and kiss me". She understood I was talking about him and said "Oh, haha, that's a strange tought". She told me to forget it when I explained what I meant to say. Told me nothing was wrong, she got it. BUT, she went home laughing like a child, probably thinking about her beloved friend kissing her. And THAT is killing me until now. I know she loves me, she shows me. I know she wouldn't do anything wrong. But I just CAN'T stand the fact that I have to share her with her beloved friends. How can I deal with all that? Thanks for reading...
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best friend, flirt, kissing, shy, the internet Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2010): ~ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING!~Her behavior is deplorable. She is disrespecting you in every way possible. Please...do not allow yourself to be treated with such despicable disrespect. Her behavior is unacceptable and do NOT tolerate. EXIT IMMEDIATELY! There are women who will place you on a pedestal. It is a disgrace when one or the other partner continues to associate him or herself with past or recent ex's or individuals once desired when committed romantically, as it is a cardinal sin against the individual whom they so called claim to love...LOVE? NO! THAT IS NOT LOVE!~GROSS!~God Bless.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2010): She's not ready for a serious relationship, get that bluntly from her behavior, that is what it means.
Talking about other guys when you are with a guy, and how great they are, is just plain snotty and derogatory behavior.
Bluntly, she's treating you like crap because she hasn't learned how to treat anyone with respect.
Move on, you are to young to put up with this crap.
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