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female
,
anonymous
writes: Dear Cupids,I am very unsure what to do.My long-term boyfriend (3 Years, 25 and 26) and I got back together after a split for three months recently.He cheated on me (only a kiss he says) and had been having doubts about us and was unsure if it was me he wanted. This was evident in his behaviour as he had been very nasty to me in the last six months leading up to the split and had made me feel quite worthless.After a few months apart we arranged to see each other and I told him I had been seeing someone else - he then broke down and told me he wanted me back and he had made a huge mistake. This tore me apart as I was very happy with the guy I was seeing and I seemed to be his no. 1 priority and we had clicked immediately.My ex persisted in winning me back but I just couldn't get the feelings I had for him before back. I continued seeing the other guy.In the new year I started to think I would try again with my ex otherwise I may regret it.We are still together now after a month and a half but I don;t seem to fancy him anymore and it's awful. He seems to have changed and is now lovely to me but I am worried that could change again and he could turn nasty again. I like most things about him, we have a lot in common but I just can't stand sleeping with him. I would rather do anything else! I still am really attracted to the guy I was seeing and find myself thinking of him a lot. I don't seem to fancy my ex but I would be very upset to lose him. Perhaps it is beacuse I am very familiar with him that I am thinking like this. What should I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (25 February 2006):
 Do what you can to win back the bloke that made you feel good about yourself, the one you fancy and think about.
Ditch the one you are seeing now as he is not right for you and will continue to make you un-happy.
You should never have got back with this guy as it is never the same, lets just hope that the other guy wants you, but if not you would be better off with no bloke than one you dont really like.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2006): Why did you get back with this man after he cheated on you. Lets put yourself in your ex's shoes. How would you feel if you had a really cool boyfriend who you loved like mad and he had been cheated on in the past, then he decided to get back with his ex! I feel really sorry for your ex, he's going to feel like you love this guy that cheated on you more than you love your ex.
I personally would say you finish your current boyfriend and tell him that you just can't get back the feelings you had for him before because he cheated on you. He can't get mad with you for that, can he? If you do split from him and he gets mad, then he can't respect your feelings as much as he says he does. Do what makes you happy, and if that means splitting from your current boyfriend and getting back together with your ex, then so be it.
HOWEVER! What if your ex doesn't want you back after you finished him for someone that cheated on you? I wouldn't want someone back that did that to me. All I can say is, tell him how confused you were and that you still really love him. Don't be surprised if he says no, but if he says yes then great. If you do get back together then it may take him some time before he regains his feelings for you.
From taking my advice you'll either end up with your ex, or end up single. But that's better than where you are now. Whatever happens, don't get back with your current boyfriend, by the sound of it, he's using you for the image of a girlfriend. Sorry that's harsh, but it's true.
If you do end up single, then stay clear of boys until you can get over these two, which will take time, but you will get over them. After you've got over them, then get out there and find a better, more worthy boyfriend, who can take your mind off things.
Sometimes I think boys are a different species to us
down-to-earth girls, and your question is my proof! I'm begging you to take my advice, and things will eventually turn out right, and you'll finally find the right guy for you. As for now, think yourself higher than them!
Good Luck! XXX
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