A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I cant stand my boyfriends family as all they do is lie and cause trouble.My boyfriend split with his ex wife a year ago but his family wont accept it. Until lately ive accepted that i will just never be a part of his family as he has kids to her and both the ex wife and family just dont like me at all.The ex wife, for obvious reason. She no longer gets to me although she still insists on trying to wind me up. His brother more so as he lies and slags me off constantly to my boyfriend. Ive been accused of so much and half the time my boyfriend and i fight because he will believe his brothers garbage.I wonder if i should split with my boyfriend as he is 15 years older than me and i get the feeling he will never take me seriously anyhow.He lets all his family and ex wife say and do as they please as he likes to 'keep them sweet' yet if i ever retaliate with a remark of some sort im considered 'bitchy'. I just cant stand it anymore. My boyfriend is great in other ways but i just dont see this as long term at all. Should i get out now? Im scared ill miss my boyfriend too much as he does spend alot of time with me. Im also scared that he will go back to his ex wife if i split with him. I cant bear the thought.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (11 June 2012):
 Did he leave his wife for you? You say he will go back to his wife if you leave… why is that scary for you? If you leave why would you care what he does with who?
IF there is a chance he can work it out with his wife and keep his family intact no wonder his family is not accepting of you, they probably see you as the home wrecker… and if he left his wife for you, they might be right….
If you don’t think he takes you seriously, if you fight and feel mistreated, it might be a good idea to end this relationship.
IF you don’t see long term and you want long term, then get out.
A
female
reader, sarcy24 +, writes (7 June 2012):
 I think this may be time to cut your losses. He is considerably older than you, has an ex wife and kids and his family aren't nice to you. The odds are stacked against you. I have found through experience that men in particular do not like their partners saying things which are not nice about their family however truthful the statements may be and they will always side with their family against you and make comments such as you mention, that you are 'bitchy, difficult, disagreeable' etc. There is a distinct possibility that he will go back to his wife if you leave him (if only for the kids) but I don't feel that anyone can compete with this so put it in your mind and accept that it might happen then if it does you will have coping strategies in place. This is a lot for one so young to deal with and his family are clearly hopeful that all will revert to what once was. I personally would let them get on with it. However strong your love for him this is a hell of a lot to deal with and when the family is lying and not being nice to you it is probably time to gracefully retire.If he wants you he will come back to you and then will have to take more of a stand about his family's treatment of you.
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