A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm having an issue with my boyfriend's bestfriend. They've been friends since they were babies but I can't stand him. I just think he's an idiot and a bad influence. I normally have a high tolerance for people but I actually can't stand to be around this guy. He's moving back to our country today after being away for two years and I'm feeling very apprehensive about it. I don't want him back here. I don't want to have to go out with him or even talk to him nor do I want my boyfriend to go out or see him, because this guy can be trouble. I just know this is gonna cause problems with my boyfriend, who's really excited about his friend coming home. Is there anything I can do about this?? and please don't say just put up with him for the sake of my boyfriend, I've tried! You try stand someone who thinks that Indonesia and New York are on the same continent and has a full blown argument and then says the map you've showed him is wrong. I can't and it's gonna cause problems.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2012): It never ends well for someone who is trying to make someone chose between them or their friend. My best friend's boyfriend tried to make her chose between him and me (not that I knew he was doing it at the time), in the end she made her choice and now he is her ex boyfriend, and I am still her best friend. Talk to your boyfriend and let him know you would rather not hang out with his best friend, but that you understand he will want to spend time with him. You don't have the right to make him chose between you both, and it won't end well if you try. If he choses you, he will resent you, if he doesn't chose you then you threw away a man you love because you didn't like his friend. You don't have to put up with them, you only need to accept that he will want to spend time with his friend, and that by your choice you don't want to be included in that time. Good Luck.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (11 January 2012):
 DO NOT MAKE HIM CHOOSE YOU OR THE BEST FRIEND.
you will lose.
instead... encourage him to spend time with his BF without you so you do not have to deal with him...
maybe after 2 years the friend has changed?
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (11 January 2012):
 If you can't put up with the guy then I guess you will have to break up with your boyfriend. You certainly have no right to tell him who he can and cannot have as a friend.
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A
female
reader, blueskyday +, writes (11 January 2012):
....regardless how annoying he may be you care about your boyfriend he's his BESTFRIEND you can't tear them apart try to get to know him better
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A
female
reader, AuntyAlexxmo +, writes (11 January 2012):
 I agree with you that you shouldnt have to put up with him just for you boyfriend, if you dislike him this much then your boyfriend should understand this and not try and make you spend time with him.
But you also need to understand that you can not stop your boyfriend seeing him, the best you can do is ask him not to get involved in whatever trouble it is his friend caueses and trust him enough to believe he can do this.
If you push the issue and try and stop him seeing his friend you will only end up arguing and then you will push him closer to this guy.
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