A
female
age
30-35,
*ooj19
writes:me and my bf have been going out for a year and a couple of mouths. every thing started out grat till he started hanging out with his ex that he dated for 6 years and her bf. I live with my boyfriend and his grandparents. My family dont wont any thing to do with me. But since he stared to hang out with his ex we whent on a break 3 mouths ago and i was told he was dating her. but ever since me and him have got back together we fight all the time and it is mostly because he is hanging out with his ex and her bf. She still makes it clear she wants him back and does little things in front of me to get me mad and me and him fighting. I have no job nowhere to go really and im 19. When me and my bf fight about these things he is all was kicking me out and telling me i need to grow up. He dont see what is really going on with the ishue with his ex. there just friends he says but when the 3 of them go somewhere i have to stay home. I dont know what to do in my postion help! what do i do ?
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female
reader, myrafaith +, writes (30 September 2010):
Im in somewhat the same boat. My boyfriend now is hanging out with his ex alot. he says im the only girl for him but when hes hanging out with her i dont see it. He dont pay attention to me at all. He invites her over alot. He really likes her i can tell. He said hes not gunna push her aside bc hes with me. I dont like this at all and i dont know what to do. Im pregnant with his kid and he dont seem excited about it at the moment. They like to drink alot. He likes to get her really really drunk. I think hes trying to get with her or something. Ive been calling in work bc i dont feel comfortable leaving them alone. I kno they will do something. Im sure they already did something while ive been at work. He just wont admit it. And the thing is this girl is 18 and my bf is 28. Its rediculous. I need to get out of this relationship. I cant live this jealousy for the rest of my life. So if i would u i would just leave. The problem is with me i dont have anywhere to go.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2010): Yes, it certainly sounds like his ex is interested in him. What is NOT fair is that your boyfriend doesn't care that him spending time with her and letting her do flirtatious things around him are hurting you.I am confused about why he's going out with her AND her boyfriend, though. Do you think a lot is going on there if her new boyfriend is around? Your boyfriend and his ex might not be up to a lot, but it does sound like there's a mutual interest, which is not at all fair to you.Him telling you that you have to stay home is a form of control, which is a form of abuse. Controlling boyfriends frequently can become physically abusive, which is what you have to watch out for. What do his grandparents think of the way he treats you? Do they tell him that anything he's doing is wrong?You DO have a way out, although it is not a glamorous one, but it will get you out of this terrible situation. You could try getting help at a local women's shelter, where they will provide you with food and a place to stay until you can get a job and find a place of your own. I'm not sure why your parents don't want anything to do with you, but perhaps trying to reconcile your differences with them, if that's possible, would improve your situation as well.I understand how difficult your situation is and how terrible you must feel about it, but I honestly don't see this getting any better for you by sticking around. Best of luck, booj19.
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