A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my life is a mess and i cant stand it no more, all i do is wake up and mop about my house i only have a part time job so only work 2 days a week, i dont drive and due to not having a full time job, havnt got enough money to learn. me and my boyfriend are going though a really rough patch, one day we ok and the next he wants to have time alone and end it. due to all this cant sleep in the nights and when i do get to sleep dont want to wake up. i feel so deprested i cant stand it, iv tryed getting a job but cant find one, im not giving up but its making me worse getting rejected. what can i do to make myself feel better beacuse i cant stand this no more ??
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female
reader, cupidus  +, writes (18 March 2011):
 Don't let the JOB thing define you.
Pretend you are a primate, keeping the fire going, hunting, gathering. Sitting most of the hours with nothing but a stick in a fire, churning the day away grunting.
Learning to linger in the nothing world without insult or guilt will lead you to invent the wheel.
Let go of the world as you see it.
A new perspective, do things with a different mind set.
Prepare for happiness, it's on it's way.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2011): You have too much time on your hands to think and thats not a good thing for many people. You will probably find, sitting at home listening to your own self doubts all day has made you lose a lot of your confidence. That could make you seem needy and unhappy to your boyfriend. He in turn, doesnt know what to do to keep you happy and the relationship cant take the strain, hence he talks about ending things. Which in turn just makes you feel even worse. Its a vicious circle!
Life is like a bicycle. If you dont jump on and ride it, you wont go anywhere.
If you cant find more work, try volunteering for the WRVS or any other charity in your area. Anything to get you out of the house and helping others. It will look good on a CV that you are working for a charity. And who knows where that might lead. I know the WRVS operate the hospital shops. Working in your local hospital, getting to know the staff, could led to a job. Check your local supermarket and see if they need staff. They are a good way to meet people your own age as many students work in them. That will certainly get you out and about. Pop into a few of the local pubs. See if they need evening staff. That would get you out in the evenings and mixing with others in a cheery, social setting. And probably put your boyfriend on his toes too if you have a few 'lock ins' lol. Join a class in the evenings doing whatever takes your fancy. Check your local college for evening classes. I went on one for people that lacked assertiveness! Try looking for a self improvement class of some sort that will boost your confidence.
The thing is...you need to do something for yourself. Things with your partner might improve or they might not but staying in and worrying about it wont help. The more you are out being busy and getting happy, the more positive you will feel about life in general. And thats what you need to aim for. So get up early, dont fester in bed til lunch time. Get up at 6 and start the day with a jog! Visit friends and family. Exercise a lot. Keep busy looking for work, offer to help others. Fill your day with positive thoughts and actions. You will soon be going to sleep before your partner!
Stop thinking and start throw yourself into DOING. Things will get better for you Sweetheart, i promise. But in order for that to happen you have to start helping yourself x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2011): I know how you feel, I am in a very simular situation. I make sure I keep myself as busy as I can but even that is hard.
I find yoga a massive help though, I go to classes and do it at home from a book and memory. Doing any kind of exercise helps you get rid of the chemicals that make you feel cr*p. Just half an hour walk can do the world of good.
As well as exercise you could take up a few hobbies, get creative and make some b/day or xmas cards (will also save money). Redecorate. If you have a garden do some gardening, if you don't look into what could be grown in the house in pots on the windowsill.
Declutter your house and have a spring clean, it can help to clear the mind. Take your unwanted things to the carboot and with the money you get treat yourself!
Does your boyfriend work? Do you live together? Maybe you're spending too much time together. Try spending a little less time with eachother. When you are with him, go for a walk and burn off any negative energy. Take up a hobby together.
I hope I have helped x
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A
female
reader, peace143  +, writes (17 March 2011):
when things get ruff for me i always think that theres worse off people in the world. people living right know have it a lot worse then i... i think of all the things iam grateful for... whatever that might be to you... get up get dressed, nice. eat good food. try healthy food. exercise. do things that make you feel good. get out into nature and sit there and look at these beautiful earth we r on.....life is short....
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