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I can't sleep when he's not there

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Question - (23 October 2012) 2 Answers - (Newest, 23 October 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I'm struggling to sleep when my boyfriend isn't with me. We've been together 3 years and we are completely in love. Recently I've not been able to sleep when he isn't in bed with me. We live separately at our parents house and I work part time and looking for work and he has just started a full time job. A few months back I had a miscarriage (was very early in pregnancy) and he was my rock. He used to drive me crazy with his snoring and how hot he would get but now I can't sleep without it. I feel safe feeling his arms around me and hearing him breathing and snoring. It's a real comfort. When he's not here I can smell him on my pillows and I feel like a have a huge hole in my heart. It sounds crazy but I just miss him so much and I'm so tired that I just want to be able to sleep! Anyone experienced the same thing or got any advice?

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (23 October 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntwe went through this... before we moved in together we were LDR and I hated the big bed alone...

what helped me was having rituals.

at bedtime I would crawl into bed and call him... he was waiting for my call most nights and we would talk till I was sleepy enough to fall asleep...

to be honest now that we sleep in the same bed every night... I offer to sleep in the spare room on early mornings so I don't have to wake him and he gets NUTS... even if we are not touching he wants me in the bed...

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A female reader, Scarlettepenelope Canada +, writes (23 October 2012):

I'm the same way but not.. physically if that makes any sense. My boyfriend and I have been long distance recently due to university but we've been together for several years before. What we do every night, even if there's a two hour time difference, is we talk to each other on Skype or facetime until we fall asleep. I've gotten so used to it being that way that I can't sleep without him talking to me until I do. I miss him lots and if we can't talk (maybe once in a blue moon) I can't fall asleep because I just feel too alone.

I would suggest maybe try talking to him before bed? You can skype, call, FaceTime (video is more personal :) , chat, text, etc.

I know it's not the same but if anything it's the closest to actually having him there. Goodluck x

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