A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for 7 years and have a 2 year old son but over the past few months have become very unhappy. I don't think i want to be with him anymore; i have told him how i feel and he says he loves me and doesnt want it to end but i cant seem to shake the feeling of wanting to split up. I don't know what to do because i know everyone will be very dissapointed with me and i don't know if i can afford to support my son alone. help!!!
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male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (13 February 2008):
 You can smile again and I know the pull to simply cut and run must be strong but ultimately that is not the path to smiling again....you dont sound crazy at all..its good you are getting these feelings out in the open...now you need to channel them either into rebuidling your relationship if thats the way forward or if that fails then building a new life for yourself and your kids :)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2008): It's worth giving it a try before giving up. Marriage counselling for a few months could be an option? Maybe you are a bit bored with the same old routine and you need to put the spark back? After 7 years and with a child involved it's definitely worth trying to work it out before giving up and ultimately if its not meant to be and you are going to split then so be it but don't give it all up especially based on a feeling of wanting to leave. Once you get to the root of WHY you feel like leaving you might stand a chance of saving your relationship. At least if you try, you won't look back and wish you had tried harder etc .. Take care xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni know inside what you are saying is right its just my head is buzzin and i can see no way out i feel i cant breath and i just want to escape. im soundin like a crazy woman now. i have allways been a happy go lucky type of person who enjoys life and all i want to do now is run away im sick of pretending to everyone else ie, family and friends that things are well wen they arnt i want the old me back and i want to smile again
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (12 February 2008):
It seems to me that you are stuck in a rut and the relationship has just become routine and the distance is because you no longer challenge or excite each other as people. I think before you split up you need to talk things through with him and tell you exactly how you are feeling; if he is finding things awkward then maybe he has similar feelings and that would provide a basis on which to start working on things if that is what you both and feel can be done. Play it by ear but get it out their in the open. You do need to do something now because if you dont and things dont change then you will either walk away or start to be tempted elsewhere.
I do however think you should resist the temptation to walk away because although you may find this hard to imagine now you may regret it if you dont; 7 years is a long time to give up without any effort at salvage. In addition to this, the kids mean he will always have some part in your life and its better if you make the effort rather than just flop out which will without doubt make the break-up a messy one. I'm not saying leave things as they are; im saying make the change, give it a chance then if it doesnt work you can hold your head high, move on and say 'well at least i tried'. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanx guys i know i was a little vague. we have been growing apart more over the last year or so ad money isnt the thin as i dont wnt for anything i am just realiseing more that we want different things we have the oportunity to go out as a couple but we just dont and wen we do its strained and awkward and we are lost for what to say. i just feel really down in the dumps and the only happyness i can see cumin my way is if im alone. i really want to try seperateing and haveing some real time apart to see how we feel and get a bit of perspective but he doesnt seem keen so i dont no what to do we have a week away planned next week as a family but to be honest i dont want to go and i feel a bit bad for thinking like it cos i know what i am doin is hard for him to understand but i just dont feel like me anymore i feel kinda lost.
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (12 February 2008):
I'd tend more towards Sunset's point of view again having said that it's hard to tell mainly because you don't say why you are feeling unhappy. It's possible you are just restless but maybe there are other issues. I think you need to get to the bottom of how you are feeling, the next question is do you think you can work through this and then I think you will be in a much better position to make a decision about what you really want to do. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2008): You have been together for quite a long time and you have a child together and times can get rough and even boring, but i do think that you should try and make things work for everyones sake. Give it a real go and if say, 6 months down the line and things are not getting any better, then i think you should consider going your separate ways. But please dont just throw it away because you are feeling unhappy with it all. We all go through the doldrums in a relationship but we have to pull it back on track. Is money the problem? Do you get to go out as a couple, alone? Maybe a relative could have your child and you two could go away and pamper each other for a weekend. If he loves you and he is a good man, then dont be too eager to throw him in the bin. They are hard to come by, i know, i have only married my dream bloke last year after years of misery. Think long and hard and keep talking to each other, not other people about your problems. I do hope you can sort it out. Let me know how things go or if you want anymore advice.
take care
xx
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A
male
reader, Somethingeasy  +, writes (12 February 2008):
 Well if your not happy in relationship, than its not worth it for th kid to grow up around unhappy people. DO whatever makes you happy.
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