A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend a little over a year and we moved in together despite my fears and objections from my family. I've been badly hurt and I admit, I hurt others too. I considered myself unlovable and hurt men who claimed to love me. My current boyfriend is breaking down my walls but- There's this insecurity in me still...I was doing homework on my boyfriends laptop when I came across pictures of his ex and her family. I don't know why but it really hurt. He told me a long time ago that he would probably be deleting them. I didn't ask him to do it or anything, it was something he said on his own. He was with her three years... And I don't know I guess I'm hurt cause he hasn't made such steps to get to know my family or anything. Every once in a while he'll do something to make me happy or something but he's never taken sincere time to know them etc. i feel somewhat silly but I can't shake off these feelings of hurt. What do you guys think?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (8 September 2016):
 Talk to him and tell him you would like him to get to know your family more, you have both been together a year now, so it is time he took some time getting to know your family and off course vice versa.
The thing with the photos well I have photos off my ex. I really don't know when is the last time I looked at them but they are memories, it does not mean he still loves her, it just means it is his past. You should not feel hurt or compare your relationship to theirs. It is his past and you are his future.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (8 September 2016):
 I think it's kind of normal to have mementos of past relationships. I think (at least for me) the line is drawn at nude photos, those are just not OK to keep.
I have a box in the basement with old photos, there are some of my ex BF, some trips we took, some of his family, some with all our friends etc. I haven't looked in that box in almost 20 years, but those are part of MY memories, MY past.
My husband have a photo-album with his "other" kids and his first wife/wedding, somewhere in the basement too. Which is fine by me.
I know that having "paper copies" of pictures are less common now than it was 20+ years ago, so him having them on his laptop is not totally strange. Nor do I find it offensive.
My guess IS he is also a little hurt from the past and don't want to bond with your family as he did with her, because if you two don't work out, he will "lose" not only you, but your family too. IT's not uncommon.
I'd just invite him around your family as much as you can, but let him set the tempo. He might just need to take his time and I think that is OK.
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