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female
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anonymous
writes: hi please help!!! me and my ex have been finished for 6 months now...we were together for a year and abit...were both in realationships. but to be honest im not happy, ive been off and on with 4 guys after my ex. and i just cant fall for them, all i think about is my ex.he asked me back about a month ago but i seriously can not get back with him because all we done was fight when we were together.and we finished on bad terms.there would be no trust ect. we talk now and then but everytime we do we fight.im leaving my partener im with now. and i really want to move on and forget about my ex but i cant. what should i do to find love again and forget about my ex full stop. thanksx
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male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (1 August 2006):
 I to have problems with being with other people after my ex and I split. No one ever seems to be good enough or does the things that she did the way that she did. Spend time with yourself and stop rushing out and finding boyfriends. You make yourself seem needy. If you love your boyfriend and say that the only reason that you all are not together is that you argue all the time then get to the source of that problem. You have unresolved issues with yourself. Concentrate on making yourself you again. I mean before there was a you and him there was only you. Get back to that. Good Luck.
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female
reader, camille  +, writes (1 August 2006):
 I shouldn't generalise but I feel that 6 months is the minimum time before you can move on after a relationship break up. Anything else is passing time, filling the void or rebound emotion. Don't rush the process. Go out on dates but don't look at every guy you see as a permanent boyfriend and feel any pressure taht that's what you're looking for. You will find love when the right person comes along at the right time. You may miss him if you're putting too much energy into worrying about it. Or thinking about your ex, especially when you know you're not right together. Just tell yourself logical things to remind you of why you're not with him, the rational part of your brain will eventually take over the emotional part and you can move on.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2006): Forget about finding love for a while, spend as much time as it takes for you to become happy with yourself, and to not depend on receiving "love" from a boyfriend.
If you had any kind of feelings for your boyfriend it is completely normal that you would not be able to "settle" for anyone else so soon. Your flings are nothing more than rebounds - a sign that you arn't ready for a relationship just yet.
So why the need for a boyfriend so desperately? Spend some proper, quality time single and you will find answers to this question. Your feelings will then sort themselves out and then you will be ready to have a proper relationship without so much emotional baggage.
Good luck.
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reader, I Dont Lie +, writes (1 August 2006):
 Hi there, Im in the same exact situation that ure in now. I have been separated with my ex about a year now but we still are housemates so we see each other everyday. I tried to move on, im sure she has, but I cant seem to forget her, and im pretty sure she feels the same. Thing is, we argue about everything everytime. Its mad! That was also the reason we broke up a year ago so we know we cant go back to that and we know we have to move on regardless of how we feel. We have not asked each other out eversince the break up but have also not met anyone else since then, although there were occasional flings with others.
I guess what Im trying to say is, we both need to be strong and keep in mind that we're doing this for the better of things! If you're meant to get back together, you'll feel it and you will. Maybe now isnt the time or maybe he isnt the right one. Whatever it is, just stick with what your heart and mind tells you to do now as its usually for the best. As for finding new love, im afraid it takes a longer time than 6 months. I guess you just have to let time heal the wounds (it will eventually, just a matter of when), and then only you can move on completely. But as for now, I suggest you just take things lightly with new guys, until you feel youre ready to move on. Best of luck. I know how much you HATE to be in this situation!
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