A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm having trouble getting over my ex bf. Its been 7 months since we've seen each other, and its not getting any easier for me. We were on and off for about 6 years. He ended it always saying he wasn't ready to commit, but would always return to me. I believed there was real love there and we would end up together after it all, but I was wrong. 7 months ago he disappeared, only to resurface with a full blown girlfriend. I was crushed. I'm all about the "why her not me" questions.. feeling empty behind my fake smile..hoping to look down at my phone and see his number.. I'm afraid ill never get over him. I've done all the stuff your suppose to do hobbies, work accomplishments, dates, out with friends, vacations with friends, exercising, bla bla but he constantly lingers on my mind..what gives ? help
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (11 April 2017):
 Six years takes a lot to get over. Off course it is difficult. But you need to accept that YOU could not have done anything different. He is in control off his feelings not you. Therefore for him something in your relationship made him go back and forward. It could have been anything but do not take that personal. For him the relationship between you both was just not meant to be and however hard it is to accept you need to in order to move on with your life. Him being on and off is a big sign so in future take that with you as a sign that if a man is not willing to commit then there is a reason.
All you need is time. You need time to heal and time to come to terms with the fact that he is NOT coming back. You are looking at your phone and day dreaming that he will realize it is you he wants to be with and he will come back. You are stopping yourself getting over him. You need to accept it is over.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (9 April 2017):
 You are still in "love" with the FANTASY of him and the FANTASY of what "could have been".
A 6-year relationship that has been ON/OFF honestly wasn't working. A good and healthy relationship isn't on/off - HE recognized that and finally ENDED it with you because he saw that you two were doing the same shit over and over expecting a different outcome. Which... isn't realistic.
You two have played the "revolving door" game for 6 years so it's NO wonder that you are STILL in the mindset of ... OH, he will walk through that door and we will pick off where we left off... YET again. It's such an ingrained pattern for you that you can't quite let go.
The thing is OP, he didn't WANT a committed relationship WITH you. Probably because there were things that just didn't work with you two. Maybe this NEW woman is someone who IS a better match for him, who WILL not accept an on/off relationship, so they MAKE it work.
Block and delete his number, even IF he did contact you it would be to continue an on/off thing that made NEITHER of you happy.
The sooner YOU accept that HE has moved on, that YOU were not a good match - the sooner you can move on too and find someone who WANTS to commit and not play "revolving door" relationship for years and years...
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