A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, ok so long story short I've been single for close to 7 years now and that includes no intimate relationships, I've been starting to get down on myself thinking about it, I've been told I'm a quite attractive woman and I take care of my appearance but i can't seem to find a guy who wants to date me, I'm quite shy and don't have many friends so I don't really go out much other than to my workplace, any advice?
View related questions:
shy, workplace Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, London Bridges  +, writes (11 December 2016):
 If your a homebody/workaholic you are not putting yourself out there in the dating pool to begin with. I too found myself in this rut of always either working or lounging in bunny slippers all day, neither benefited my dating life. It took me taking up a hobby at a local barber college for me to meet my current SO. Only when I stepped out of my typical pattern was I able to meet some new faces and see and be seen.I wasn't ever on the prowl, nature just took its course when I opened up to new things. Try something new and outside of the box every once and a while. Don't lose yourself trying to find someone. Just continue to be you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2016): You have to get out in the world for some exposure for men to even notice your existence. You have to be social. Attend parties and celebrations, go to live concerts or shows. Take up a hobby or a class. Subscribe to a reputable dating site, and be careful about meeting strangers. Don't allow desperation or loneliness to make you take unnecessary risks.
If you do decide to use a dating site, please avoid long-distance relationships or getting attached through mere conversations. So many single women who submit posts to DC get immediately attached after having conversations with men through dating sites; mainly because they are needy and lonely. You have to control that part of yourself under any means you meet men. They are strangers until you know more about them. Through dating you must get to know details of their character and something of their past.
Lingering online conversations and avoidance to meet is a red-flag. Over-eagerness to meet you is also to be avoided.
Don't go on a manhunt, that is an act of desperation and men tend to take advantage lonely desperate women. Be friendly and relaxed in the presence of men. Even if it's only an act. Self-confidence is very important in attracting people.
You'll have to overcome shyness. I say this in so many posts. Shyness will hinder your meeting people and will certainly frustrate men attempting to approach and get to know you. Get out more and attend social events. Be it parades in the town square, a local charitable event, or doing volunteer work. Exposure and being friendly will increase your opportunity to meet men. Unseen means unknown.
Hiding at home waiting for someone to find you isn't working very well, now is it?
Get some lady-friends or girl cousins together and go out shopping and having lunch dates. If you have no friends, you better work on that. Making friends is practice for also attracting potential mates.
People have to find something about you they like, that makes them want to be around you. They also have to feel you are approachable, accessible, and friendly.
Go public, sweetheart! You have to be visible!
...............................
|
