A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years about 2 months ago. I did it because I cant seem to balance my friends and him at the same time. He doesnt understand why I need anyone else but him. The last 2 months have been hell for me. Ive missed him so much, and today he came over for the first time since and everything felt right. My parents and friends dont like him because I would always choose him over them. It's so hard to be without him, and for the first time today I felt happy again. But at the same time I'm scared to go back with him because I want my friends and family too. He doesnt like me being friends with guys and I have a lot of guy friends now so I'd lose them if I went back. I love him so much I'm sick of being miserable, do I choose him and possibly lose my friends or do I just try to forget him? My friends all hate him and would probably disown me if I went back, who do I choose?
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWow, I havent been on here in a while, haha. Well here's an update. I was set up on a blind date later that month, when I met my now fiance. We've been together almost two years. He doesn't hold me back in any way and encourages me to see my friends. I am happier than ever. Thanks for the advice everyone!
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2009): He is trying to replace you, that should be all you need to know right there....he will just end up hurting you more...this relationship has run it's course don't you think? Dating only one person since the age of 14 is not a great idea for either one of you. If after dating others you get back together, cool, then it was meant to be, but my goodness what's the rush.
Most relationships that start this young do not last, there is just too many years ahead of you both and you both are going to change a lot in the next decade or two...you won't even fit any more, trust me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBy the way, talking to him about this isnt really an option. He is a little of the jealous type but i have a lot of fun with him and he makes me happy. Is he the only one for me, it feels that way. I'm scared to let him go only to regret it. I'm a little hurt becuase last night he went on a date and kinda crossed the line to me. He said he doesnt even like her he was just trying to replace me. So now I'm not sure what to do about that either, it kills me that he did that seeing that we've only been on a break. He didnt tell me that we were seeing other people now. I've turned many people down and he jumps at the first girl that gives him the time of day. I'm hurt.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2009): Take it from an old fart who has the hindsight of 20/20 vision over her life.
Ditch the boyfriend. You are much too much too young to deprive yourself of the valuable lessons that you will learn by socializing with all of your male and female friends. Your boyfriend is trying to control you which is not the same thing as love, it is mostly dependency and that isn't love either.
You are just feeling uncomfortable out of your comfort zone, your habit of always being with him. So stretch your legs and tell him to take a hike that you want to have a life outside of one with him. You are young, your main purpose right now is to get through school and come out with a good education and good grades so hopefully you can further that education and achieve some of your own goals for success.
In all due time you will be ready for a serious relationship, but even then healthy relationships allow for other people and interests a person can't stop growing or they will die and the relationship will suffer as you are experiencing on your own right now.
Good luck, be strong and be happy, on YOUR OWN
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