A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, this may sound silly or selfish, but I have recently got engaged, and I can't seem to accept his past! I know, in the back of my mind, it shouldn't bother me, but for some reason it does. He is the first person I slept with, but his ex was the first person he slept with, and it meant a lot to me to sleep with a guy, having had bad relationships in the past, but I hope he won't always remember her for being the person he chose to lose his virginity to, even though she treated him badly and he says he wishes he had never met her. Am I being stupid?
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female
reader, DeserveMore  +, writes (30 March 2009):
 No, you aren't stupid. You have certain life-principles that you have stuck to and in the back of your mind you are asking yourself... "Does he have the same standards, principles, ideals... or was their something so incredibly special about that other woman that he chose to forfeit them?" I hear ya'--- I struggle with the same thing even though I have been previously married and with 3 other guys-- I still ask myself- "Why couldn't he have waited for ME? is he going to compare?"The answer is the same--- He was biding time and never knew he would have been blessed with someone as amazing as you or he would have never gone there, trust me! It all stems from a place of insecurity- something either happened to you or you are afraid it will or both... I get it--- been there.Become your own best friend and spend as much time focusing on how great you are as you do how great he is and in no time, you will realize what he already does--- other girl WHO?????
A
female
reader, loving arms +, writes (30 March 2009):
Sadly the past is just that, past. We cannot go back and erase or change anything as much as we'd like to. That said there is nothing your man can do to change who he first slept with, however he can choose what to do with the present. And he has picked to be with you. Just enjoy what you have babe. Good luck
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