A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi aunts... Need some advise... Ive been seeing this guy for six months now and things are going well even though we sometimes have our ups and downs. My problem is ME, i cant tell him how i feel especially when he did something that i dont like. When we not together i know very well what i want in a relationship but the minute he walks in and start talking i would like im ohkay. Its hurting me inside because i dont know how to start and where. Because im not saying whats bothering me he keeps doing the very same things i dont like. Sometimes i feel like giving up on the relationship. Ive been single for 10yrs and been in this relationship for 6months and dont feel like im contributing much into the relationship..please guys help me i really love him and i cry myself to sleep every nite thinking that this is not how i want things to be and thats not the way i want to be treated but because im not saying anything dont see a change anytime except that im just waiting for the day where i would say ' i just cant do this anymore, we/the relationship is not working. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (10 July 2011):
 This is where you open up your mouth and say something. He cannot read your mind or communicate with you nonverbally. So he will continue to do things you do not like unless you say something about it! What exactly is he doing that you don't like?
Your relationship is lacking serious COMMUNICATION! That is one key ingredients to make a relationship work. If you two can't properly communicate then the relationship will fall apart. Hence, you stating that one day you're going to say you can't fix it anymore.
You have the power to fix whatever is wrong in your relationship. By saying something about it to him, you two can work together to fix the problem. If you can't bring yourself to verbally communicate with him face to face, then like the other poster said write him a letter. But even if you write him a letter, he's still going to want to talk about it.
Communicate with him, your relationship depends on it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2011): why are you so afraid to speak up? Are you afraid that if you tell your bf that you're unhappy with some things he does, that he will then leave you? Are you afraid of conflict and argument?
if you tell him about the things you're unhappy with, yes there's a chance that there will be an argument and negative feelings. But from there, there's the chance that the problems may get worked out and what's bothering you will get taken care of and resolved and you'll feel better and he'll treat you better.
But if you never say anything, then there is zero chance that things will get better.
You also feel terrible about yourself every time you chicken out. So by not speaking up you're making yourself feel even worse, you're lowering your confidence every time this happens.
how about if you write him a letter. when you're feeling upset about the relationship and he's not around, that's when you write it all down and leave it somewhere for him.
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