A
female
age
51-59,
*tsjustme71
writes:I have been separated from my husband for 2 years and have not been interested in another man for over 15 years until now. There is a man at my church whose situation is very similar to mine, I think I am developing some very strong feelings for him but cannot tell if he feels the same. For a few months he stays after church service and our sons play together on the playground. We are both shy (and frightened) and have had some short conversations and we have exchanged phone numbers and have had some very brief text exchanges. He has recently become unemployed and when I finally summoned up enough courage to ask him if he would like to do something he politely declined and said that all he could focus on was finding a job right now. He did call me recently to ask if I could help him with something that required us to be alone in a car and in his house for a bit where he was very open and honest with the details of his pending divorce. He then, on another day brought his son to my house so our children could play together. The whole time he was there he just watched me interact with the boys and made playful little teasing comments to me. He is very shy and he is also of another nationality, so it is very hard to read his intentions. I cannot tell if he is interested or just being kind.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (8 April 2015):
 He may be interested. BUT you are both legally married and until the divorces are final dating is not a good idea.
In addition, men (in general) tend to only focus on one big thing at a time while women can multitask more often (a generalization).
If he is just being kind, then you have a friend.
If he is interested in more you will know soon enough.
You are still legally married although separated, what's the rush?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2015): He could be interested but he needs more time.He's a religious man, that's clear from his actions - he's not doing anything untoward at all, and playing things "by the book".If he had a pending divorce the LAST thing he will want to do is to risk being accused of having an affair, just in case that mucks up whatever settlement and child access has been agreed.And if he had just lost his job and has kids he will be absolutely focusing on finding a job.So he is telling you things fair and square.BUT he likes you and is starting to trust you - otherwise he would not do the things he does with you.I think with this kind of man you will need to be very, very patient and maybe there will be, eventually, something wonderful. OR he could just be a 'dead fish' - at this stage, you just don't know.I wouldn't initiate anything again. Just wait for him to ask you out when his situation is changed. He knows you like him, he knows you are "there". Most likely his trust has been broken and it will take time for him to move forward. He's not at the same stage as you yet.
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