A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Dear agony aunt I really need help. I met a guy and we broke up in less than two month. He use to contact me but it wad now and then. He broke up with me because he said he didnt know what he wanted. After 5 month being seperated i contacted him and told him that i love him and want to spend the rest of my life with him. He told me he missed me and wanted to see me to hangout. And i told him love him and said it back. We said we would see our work schedule and we can hangout. Asked him if he wants to be with me and he said i do and i dont. I asked why? And he said he is nit done partying and he loves me and my personality for some reason. The day after that i texted him and he said he cant be talking on the phone like that and i said like what? He didnt responded. Please help i cant move on i love him i think about him everyday. He said he told his mom about us and he said she knows what is going on between us. Do u think he loves me since he spoken to his mom about me. Please help me i need advice
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (4 February 2014):
Honey I'm sorry but he's telling you want you want to hear...
He's not in love with you or as into you as you are into him.
This is just going to set up a world of hurt for you if you take the dribs and drabs he will dole out to keep you on the line stroking his ego and anything else you are willing to stroke for him (sex)
IF you can't manage to go NO CONTACT with him (which is what I think is best for you in the short term and the long run) then I suggest you do not contact him, instead let him make all the initial contact. He calls you first. He texts you first. YOU only reply if a reply is necessary to a question. DO NOT ask to see him. Wait for him to ask to see you and DO NOT BE physical with him... no necking or petting and no sex or blow jobs....
following this plan you will soon see just what he really feels....
A
male
reader, BrownWolf +, writes (3 February 2014):
What I see is a young woman who does not want to be lonely, or who has been lonely for a while. Someone came along to briefly take you out of your loneliness, and now you feel like this person is your whole world. You want to spend the rest of your life with him because he is the only love, and amazing feeling you know right now. Fact is, and the bad thing is…you are trying to force love, trying to force him to feel the same way you do. Keep this in mind…LOVE is the strongest force on Earth, but it CANNOT be controlled, or forced upon someone, by anyone.I see this guy running away because you are trying too hard to make this happen. He is using his good judgment, while you are running on your emotions, and not really thinking of what you are doing. You said you cannot move on…from what? If he left the country and never came back, what would you do? Die? Never fall in love again? NO!! You would move on. THINK clearly of what you want and what you are doing, and do not let your emotions control you.
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A
female
reader, Intrigued3000 +, writes (3 February 2014):
You really won't know any answers until you talk to him either on the phone or face to face. Texting can be misconstrued and you won't know if he's sincere or not with his words. By his actions I would say that he's still unsure about you, but you won't know until you speak to him. If he doesn't make an effort to speak to you in person, then he's probably stringing you along because you give him attention and stroke his ego with your admissions of love.
Try to keep yourself busy so you won't think about him as much. Hang out with your friends, keep a journal, seek therapy if you feel like the emotions are too overwhelming for you. Get busy and ignore him for a spell. Let him chase you.
If you guys are meant to be together you will, if not, then you have to go through the pain of unrequited love like all of us have, and let him go.
I hope it all turns out well for you.
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A
male
reader, Gauntlet +, writes (3 February 2014):
Excuse-me, but frankly speaking, I don't see this guy talking about you to his mom as a very good thing, particularly after all that happened between you both.
For me, he sounds more like a weirdo, and I imagine him talking with his mother like Anthony Perkins in Psychosis. Be careful my dear, watch out to not become his Marion Crane.
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