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female
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anonymous
writes: hi everybody,i need some relationship advice! about 6 months ago i started dating my boss's niece(we've known each other for a while and we slept together once but never took it any futher) shes a beatiful,intelligent woman who is highly respected among her peers and superiors(shes an officer in the army)but she has a reputation for sleeping around,she has never made a secret of this or of the fact shes slept with her collegues (a few are jealous that she chose me).she was badly hurt on an operation and she says it made her realise what she really wants(me!).having been one of her conquests i know what shes like and how good she is,and i still worry shes going to stray.i love her and she says she loves me but i cant shake this feeling.she has changed alot for me,am i just being jealous? thanks
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2006): I don't know if this will help but i loved a man who'd had 4 sexual partners and was insecure as hell with him. Then i fell for someone a decade my senior who had lost count of the number of partners he d had. He was very honest n open and after a while together told me i was the best woman he'd ever known. And all the time i was with him i never had one second of doubt or insecurity. We respond to diff people in different ways. It is completely illogical. I think you should not worry as one's past does not dictate one's future .
A
female
reader, Serene Katy +, writes (2 October 2006):
 Two things:
1.You say she has already changed a lot for you.
2.You are worried about what she did before you both entered into this mutually exclusive relationship.
1. Accept that she has modified certain things already, she has shown she can and will compromise for a happy life with you. Please accept her as she is, don't expect her to jump through hoops to make up for something from her past. Would you be happier to find a person naturally nearer your "blueprint" of an ideal partner? Why would you go into a relationship with someone, wishing to make modifications to them, (obviously I am not talking about accepting open relationship behaviour) you are supposed to love and accept them as they are. They will always be who they are, even if they change temporarily, they will naturally wish to be the individual they are.
2. She obviously had fun when she was single, but has left that behind for a serious relationship. How she acted before your relationship commenced is probably completely differently from when she commits to a person. It's like the old stories of males sowing their wild oats before they marry. That level of promiscuity gets boring after a while and you just want a real relationship with that special person. Give her a chance. Do you think a man marrying a virgin has a better chance of not being left for another man?? Absolutely not. Maybe it's better your partner has sampled some of the male goodies on offer, she obviously feels she made the right choice with whom to commit, now from an informed perspective. ;)
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A
female
reader, Toria +, writes (30 September 2006):
 The only thing that seems wrong in this relationship is her past sexual partners, I don't see this a reason to walk away from someone you care about and that holds all the qualitys to want in someone, the past is what makes us the person we are today therefore the person you fell for is this girl past aswell.
You need to try to overlook her past and move on from it, these things happened before you came into her life and for all you know she could have been searching for something she has now found in you.
Good luck :o)
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A
male
reader, fallenman  +, writes (30 September 2006):
 Trust is something that can only be proven over time. If you go for this relationship then your concerns will relect in your willingness to cooperate in the relationship and may give a negative message. So it you go for it, go full on. If you wrong well your wrong. People can change through trumatic events, only you can judge the truthfulness of her words.
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