A
female
age
36-40,
*ancyLeo
writes:I can't make up my mind!!! I dated this guy for 4 years, nothing happened, we talked about marriage apparently only when he was drunk and feeling emotional. Anyways. I lost my job, he offered me one and now I am working for him making barely 15 bucks an hr. So, there is this other guy. He looks like the guy of my dreams and he is in love with me but he is divorced and wants to take it slow to make sure he doesn't get married to fast like he did last time. He does want to get married soon at some poing but he just moved back to Seattle area after finishing school in Virginia. So now he is here. I am working for my ex. No sex. No nothing. Just kinda hanging out. His office is far away from where I live in Newcastle area so I have to stay at his house Monday to Friday but we do not touch each other. I told him that I renew my covenants in the temple and that I am not supposed to have sex before I get married. So, out of all the times he has disrespected me this is the only thing that he respected about me. So I am NOT having sex unitl I get married and that is the end of it. Anyway. I thought my dream guy wasn't going to really move back becuase men change their mind ALL the time i've learned. BUT he did! He is here and we are going out tomoroow Sat. Because i didn't think he was going to come to live here near me, I got on to a website and I have met guys online that sound like a lot of fun. So now Tomorrow Sat. I have a 10 date with Jhon, a 1pm date with Eirck and a 5pm date with my dream guy. And then going out with Sonny at 8pm clubibng. Sonny is a guys that I met after breaking up with my ex. I thought he was it but he was also divorced and filed bankruptcy so marriage made him feel like he did not have anyting to offer so we ddin't get married befoe. Now he told me he has been looking for engagement rings since 3 months ago and he want's to give me a promise ring. Which i can't wear because of my dream guy. On top of that. i went on a date iwth this hillarious guy that introduced me as his wife to his MOM just for ajoke thou but gosh he made me feel like it all night. I enjoyed myself a lot with him. MY LIFE IS COMPLICATED and I WISH THE DAYS WERE LONGER. I am 25 and really want to find someon I can be in love with but none of these guys make me feel like we could be or are inlove except for my dream guy and he is kida gay sometimes makes me nervious. And he never knows what to do for fun he alsways expects me to take all the desicions. I really like him but I am afraid he just doens't know what he wants in life. He says he plans to make a lot of money and he doesn't have bad habits and treats me well but I feel like I can't have fun with him at all. I been hurt before and I am afraid of falling in love and make the same mistake. Now I have way too many prospects and wasn't planning on it, not at this time in my life. Please help!!!
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female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (13 June 2009):
 I agree completely with RCN. What came to mind for me is that you have TOO MANY options. How on earth will you ever get to know someone or experience togetherness when your main accomplishment is juggling?
I'm seeing two guys but I think that's too many and I never see the guys on the same day because what if we are having a great converstation or a great time? I'm not going to say "time's up, NEXT!" It seems to me that you should focus your efforts on dream guy and Sonny. Don't commit to either of them and if you've determined that Sonny isn't what you want them stop leading him on. Tell your ex that you're staying with and working for that he's not even in the running, and in your mind, don't put him there. Then, if you kick Sonny out, get to know another guy and if he's not the one or if dream guy isn't the one, move on. Dating is a process of learning who you are and what you want, and it is not a race. Take your time. Slow things down a bit.
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (13 June 2009):
 I'd recommend slowing down a bit. Quality, not quantity, and you'll find what you're looking for. Also, honesty with those you are with. Tell the guy who's giving you a ring you're not committing. If not, I really don't see this dating spree ending well. If I had a dating schedule like yours, I'd go crazy. Don't just take a relationship slow, slow down yourself so you can absorb the experience when you're dating to see what who works for you and who doesn't.
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