A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I want to get married to my boyfreind. its just that i cant live with my mother anymore she a real bitch. i love my boy friend and he loves me to. only thing is that my mother will say no to all this. someone help me . Please Reply to this Question
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male
reader, ChiRaven +, writes (13 April 2007):
 Getting married to get away from your mother is a BIG mistake. Marriage should be about wanting to go TO someting, not about wanting to get AWAY from something.
If you hope to be able to build a stable relationship with your boyfriend, you're going to have to learn to develop good interpersonal skills. And that means just what it sounds like it means ... it means that you're going to have to find a way to learn to live with your mother. Like it or not, she's ALWAYS gong to be your mother and she's ALWAYS going to be an important part of your life.
You didn't say what your disagreements are about, but remember this ... whether it looks like it or not, your mother loves you and wants the best for you. She may not be very good at showing this or working towards this. She's human, just like you are. But if she's just behaving like a child in the relationship, then it's up to YOU to start behaving like an adult. ONE of you has to, and if she won't or can't then it has to be you.
So stop the yelling and carrying on. If you have disagreements, tone things down and get her to talk things out with you quietly and calmly. Just don't talk to her in a loud voice and don't talk to her at all if she's talking to you that way. Wait until she's calmer. Try to see things from her side of the fence. What does she want and why? What can you give in on that will make her happier. What kind of a compromise might the two of you reach on whatever you are discussing? If you are talking things over calmly, sometimes compromise is possible. If you're both ranting, it won't happen.
Show some class here, girl. Just because your mother may behave like a bitch sometimes does not mean that you have to. So surprise the hell out of her. Be calm, reasonable, and willing to compromise.
And look to that wonderful boyfriend of yours for moral support to help you get past the times that you WANTED to scream but you DIDN'T because that would be childish and you're no longer a child.
A
male
reader, Royofthe Rovers  +, writes (12 April 2007):
 Why is your mother a bitch?Is it her being protective?Is she really being unreasonable about things?Marriage should'nt be used as an escape from your mother. That is wrong for you and wrong for your boyfriend. You obviously love him but does that mean you have to get married?Can you not just move out, with him or own your own?If you love your boyfriend and you truthfully feel marriage is the next step without your mother in the equation then follow through how you see fit, but you are still quite young and the way you describe things does'nt inspire me to believe you are doing this for the right reasons.You need to try and improve things with you mum, unless you both hate each other, which I find hard to believe. Would'nt it be nice to have your mothers backing in all this, have her support?Think before you do anything rash..Goodluck..
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