A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Should I split up with my boyfriend?To give you a bit of background knowledge, I started seeing my boyfriend after a drunken works night out and it very quickly turned into a boyfriend/girlfriend situation. At the time I was living with my best friend who I had lived with for 3 years and we had always lived the single girl lifestyle, never needed anyone else as it was just the two of us. I admit I kissed quite a few boys and never told him even 7 months in. I knew my boyfriends ex lived close to where we did but he said he had split up with her because he knew he didnt want to be with her any longer although he says he wasnt happy about the way it happened as he pretty much just up and left the house he was renting from her. A month before we were to move in my boyfriend on a drunken night out called his ex and stayed the night. He told me 2 days later and was truly truly sorry. Since then he has been doing all he can to rebuild my trust but somehow it still frustrates the hell out of me and I cant seem to let it go. Some days I can and then other day I work myself up so much. He has apologised on so many occasions I dont know what else I can ask from him. What should I do?
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best friend, drunk, his ex, split up Reply to this Question
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male
reader, JustHelpinAgain +, writes (29 March 2012):
I think a lot of exes meet for for sex after splitting up, somehow part of the process when two people drift apart instead breaking up. Maybe your bf wasnt sure he really wanted to leave his ex? Even though drunk he was the one that called her - you have a lot to be mad with him over. Obviously your bf had a lot of guilt but I think you owe it to yourself to have some thinking time and see how you feel about him in a few weeks.
A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (28 March 2012):
 In vino veritas.
That he woulc call up his ex and have sex with her tells me he has unfinished business with her (not to mention almost no class).
You're passing up other opportunities in life to be with a man who obviously isn't giving anything up for you. And don't fall for any nonsense about him being afraid to commit. You're giving up more than he is and you aren't getting drunk and hopping into bed with other men.
Not what you want to hear, but I wouldn't let him move in. In fact I would keep living with your female roommate. There you were happy and free.
He may indeed be very sorry. In future he'll learn to treat a woman better than he's treated you.
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A
male
reader, Cole Turner  +, writes (28 March 2012):
 Did he openly admit to doing this? ... or was he caught?
If he openly admitted to making this mistake, the chances are he is very sorry. When someone betrays your trust it can take a while for it to be rebuilt, but you have to work with him. Just ask of him that it never happens again and that you move forward with your relationship together. Give the guy a chance ... it seems he has made a mistake and is now very remorseful!!
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