A
female
age
30-35,
*ethyBoo
writes:I need help!Two and a half weeks ago my on again off again boyfriend of three years broke up with me.I thought everything was going great and was looking forward to the future and it was really out of the blue to me. He never showed that anything was bugging him.He said that it wouldn't work out next year because we wouldn't see eachother because of my being in school and his being in full time work but I just don't understand why he didn't talk to me about it or even try.Anyway, I keep thinking that I'm making progress and then I crumble and can't move on. I don't want him back because I know he's not mature enough to handle a relationship but I'm having a really hard time trying to get the old him out of my heart a bit more.I feel guilty and like I'm cheating myself when I flirt with a friend of mine...What can I do??PLEASE HELP!
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2010): I believe that any relationship can work out just as long as there aren't any major problems like drugs, alcohol abuse, phys. mental, emotional or verbal abuse of any kind and as long as both parties have love for each other and willing to put forth the effort. It has been three years for you guys and if he ended it and you want him back...PLEASE DO NOT BEG HIM. Live your own life, have your own goals and do not keep in contact with him, stalk him or any of the craziness and by all means, do not allow him to come and go in your life as he pleases. Make him miss you by doing the above things I just mentioned. Most men and women...whether 18 or 30, seem to be immature and uninformed when it comes to the matter of the heart,when it comes to relationships, love and etc. You can't explain love per say because, it is not only an action word, but a feeling as well. Going to school and working is NOT a reason to break up with someone...well...it is not a legit reason or a reasonable reason to me. More than likely, he just isn't that into the relationship or you...maybe he is bored, maybe there is no spark, maybe there is no connection, maybe he doesn't think he is ready for a relationship and etc. But to be honest with you, most men don't date with the intention of falling in love or getting into a relationship....it just happens per say...meaning, they go into it thinking they will just have sex, have a good time, until months or years down the line, they end up falling hard for that person. I know it is going to be hard for you....I have been where you are believe me...I KNOW. It is not easy to give up on the person you are in love with...all I can say is that if you truly believe in your heart that guys are meant for each other, don't give up...but at the same time, don't go after him either, let him come to you. Don't beg him or nag him...just show in with your actions that you are better off with or without him. Also, you might want to start practicing the LAW OF ATTRACTION. You can turn your life and relationship around using this method...buy books on the matter, and also look at videos on YouTube. You may also want to read a book called POWER OF THE SUBCONSCIOUS MIND by Joseph Murphy. Most of the time we attract wanted or unwanted people, places and things into our lives because, of the images and thoughts we hold in our mind...in our head. Keep me updated.
A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (16 December 2010):
 Three years on again, off again? You should be thankful that nasty cycle is over! You guys can't hold a steady relationship whatsoever! He's finally realized this and ended it for good this time. Move on sweetie, don't feel guilty about flirting with your friend. You're single, you can do whatever you want!
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