A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I dated a man on and off for a year, all while he was still living with his ex-girlfriend for financial reasons. I was not comfortable or OK with that situation so, even though we became very close, we stopped seeing one another and he got back together with his ex. A few months later, we were both on the same trip and had too much to drink and started fighting. He said he was still in love with me but didn't think that I wanted a serious relationship before, and we talked about all the miscommunication and feelings we both still had. He said he would do whatever I wanted: break up with his girlfriend (a clearly unhealthy relationship regardless of what has happened with us) and meet my family. They have been friends for 15 years, which seems to be a lot of the reason they are still together (or maybe that's just what I want to think). Unfortunately, we also slept together, which I'm not proud of.As I write all of this I realize what an awful situation I've put myself in and that we both look like selfish people. But, despite all of this, I love him and want to give us a try... I've never been as happy with someone as I am with him, but I can't help thinking I'm doing exactly what I should not be. I want to be with him, but am I being dumb and foolish? And selfish?
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female
reader, Brokenv  +, writes (18 October 2013):
I think you need to seriously think about what you are doing. He is still living with his girlfriend. Until that changes you should NOt have any CONTACT.
We all do things we are not proud of....but we learn to not do it again. You are going to hurt yourself in the long run.
If he really wants to have a relationship with you. He would move out and get his own place. Learn to be on his own. I really don't think he was away from his girlfriend for the year you were "having a relationship".
Be kind to yourself. If your not, no one will be.
Good Luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2013): This is a situation that you have to follow your gut. If your mind raises too many questions, you must stop and think.
Would you be better off with, or without him? How stable would the relationship be? Who would be doing most of the work to keep it going?
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