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I can't handle being pregnant and not sure what to do all alone! Why isn't he helping me?

Tagged as: Pregnancy, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 May 2014) 2 Answers - (Newest, 1 June 2014)
A female India age 30-35, *wasti writes:

Heyy hii everyone....

I am in a grave problem. Help!

I and my bf are in a relationship since 5 years. Though we love each other a lot now, but in past my bf's history is not that good. In first yar of our relation, he left me alone and ignored me. After that when I broke up and moved on, he along with his that time gf, blackmailed me. But, few days later that girl dumped him and he was shattered. It was me then who took him out of that depression. Gradually, our love grew stronger and we were in relationship again. Since then, its been 5 years we are together.

It was his last birthday on 2 may this year, we spent a night with each other and ya, we did have sex. But we were not prepared about it. So, didnt use protection. I did take those birth control pills. Now a week ago, I realised of having a delayed period. I got scared and surfed the net for pregnancy symptoms. Few of them matched with me. I panicked a lot. I told him. We have turned twenty. But we are not married. So having a child now is not a good option. We are college students now. So we started thinking ways of abortion without informing parents. I told him about abortion pills and also their hazards to take them alone. I am a medical student and I know that very well. We dont even live together. In the hostel its very risky that everyone will get to know about it. But he insisted me to do that alone. He can't live with me anywhere for somedays, neither can take me to hospital. He put the whole burden on me. I got hurt at this topic. Today, I checked and found that I am really pregnant. I told him but this time, I didn't panic. Because I knew what he would say. But now to this, he is interpreting that I am telling a lie, just to give him tension. I can't eve n shout ant tell him that its a damn truth because I am at home. In this critical situation, his way of reacting is hurting me a lot. I am not getting what to do and what not. Its really not possible for me to handle all this alone. I am also in a doubt about him. Ih he really loyal or cheating on me.

I am very depressed and can't find any way out. Plz help!!!

View related questions: abortion, broke up, depressed, period, the internet

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2014):

I agree with WiseOwlE you need to talk to your mother about the situation your in so you have support and help it may be difficult or scary to talk to your mother but it would really help a lot. If your to scared to tell in person maybe you can wright your mother (or someone else in your family your close to) a note or a letter telling them what your going threw or how your feeling. Good luck.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2014):

It is best that you turn to your parents right now. He doesn't want to man-up to his responsibility. You should not face this alone by any means. You don't have to. Why would you fear your parents so much that you would suffer in silence? You would be so much better off to have their help through this. It's far too much of an emotional burden with school demands; and trying to make a decision you'll live with the rest of your life.

You really need your mother. Not to make your decision; but to help you handle the tremendous loneliness you must be feeling having that man-child dump it all on you. This is now a life-lesson about unprotected sex. Placing all the responsibility on yourself, and nothing on the man. You could just as easily catch an STD. He can just bail out on you anytime, leaving you to suffer all alone.

My dear, call your mother. She may be shocked or upset with you. You are her child, and she would put love before judgement knowing how upset you feel. I would take that chance no matter what the outcome. At least you wouldn't be facing it all alone.

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