A
female
age
36-40,
*r.2.be
writes:Hi everybody!!!I am having a problem with one of my ex boyfriends. It seems as if he refuses to move on and makes me feel guilty for breaking up with him. I broke up with him because he was very needy and clingy, controlling and had a temper. For example I was expected to call him when I woke up in the morning, after class, after lab and before I went to bed at night. If I didn't call him for a day due to my busy schedule at school he would get extremely mad at me and often told me to f*** off. I could not deal with this anymore as school is enough for me to deal with. I told him that he needed to give me some space many times before but I can't tell him anything because he will yell at me if it is something he does that bothers me. Claiming I get annoyed so easily and that I need to relax. Totally false.He smokes and I have told him many times not to light up around me since I have asthma and he would do it anyway and I did not get mad at him. I also got into a car accident because he wouldn't stop hanging all over me and distracted me and caused me to rear end somebody. I had told him to get off of me but a fight would have occured. I wasn't mad at him for this and I just calmly told him not to hang on me when I drive again. I just couldn't deal with him anymore and had to break up with him. It was hard for me to do as I didn't want to hurt his feelings but being with him felt like I was attached to an iron ball that watched my every move and I wasn't happy.The breakup was very bitter and he has lashed out on me many times, even to this day and this has been 8 months ago. Telling me that I need to die, I am a horrible selfish b**ch, liar and whore who sleeps around and that he hated me. I do forgive him and I talk to him as a friend but he won't let go. He texts me at least 12 times a day, calls me 2 times a day on average and tells me things like how much he misses me and wants to be in my arms again and how amazing he thinks I am. All these things to try and woo me into a relationship. I tell him I can't do it as I am too busy with school. We get into fights over stupid things. I can't fall in love with somebody and not even something. I told him that I am in love with my clinical anatomy class and he got really angry at me. He gets mad if I go to the movies with my guy friends from school or if I hang out with a guy friend. I have been on dates with other guys just for platonic casual purposes and I dare not let him find out or I am dead meat.I know I should not care about what he says but I can't help but care. He makes me feel like he is the only person I am allowed to love, apparently I am not even allowed to be in love with my future career which regardless of what he says I will fall in love with it anyway.I know he is trying to guilt me into a relationship with him again but what do I do about it. Cutting ties with him will make it worse and he will find me. He just needs to move on but when I tell him this, he is really offended.
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broke up, liar, move on, my ex, smokes, text Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2009): Stop talking to him already! He's an X. As in yesterday's hero. Now you need to be the heroine and tell him what the word NO means and keep it brief as you don't want any more interactions with him. Geesh!
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