A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I dated a guy for 8 months who moved away in august for another job. we weren't serious and he was very selfish and treated me poorly. i knew deep down i should have dumped him on date two, but i held on because i wanted a boyfriend. stupid, i know.i miss the heck out of this guy and it's driving me crazy!! i think about him everyday, check my email and phone constantly hoping to hear from him, which is not often. i know this guy was a jerk and i can do so much better, but i can't get him off my mind. i live in a big city and it's hard for me to meet a guy who is dateable! what is the deal and how can i move on? i'm sure if i honestly look at the situation, he used me for sex and i used him for sex and to cure my loneliness. Help!!!!
View related questions:
move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2010): It sounds like you are very lonely and desperate for any attention. What you need to do is grab some girlfriends and go out. Or go spend some time with your family if they are nearby and you get along well. Substitute negative attention for positive attention. I also agree with the previous two posters-work on your OWN life and issues for a while before trying to add anyone else in to the mix. You don't HAVE to have a man to be happy, and once you realize and believe that, you will be much better off. You will also be more attractive to all the GOOD guys out there that are looking for a girlfriend.
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (30 December 2009):
 You need a man. That is about as attractive to most men as showing up for the first date in a wedding dress. Men are hunters, they want to track a woman, hunt her down like an elusive deer. Not to get out of the car and be jumped at by some game animal that begs them to take them home and cook them. It takes the fun out of it.
Now the kind of guys that DO like desperate women are the users, they need that desperation because no regular woman would ever go for them.
It has been said countless times before, build up single life you can be happy with and keep your eyes open for someone you like and who likes you but don't finding that guy your only focus in live.
Say that a nice guy asks you out, and he then tries to make smalltalk by asking you about your hobbies. Your answer, "to catch a man". How fast do you think that guy is out of the window?
And while you spend those months with this reject, might the right man have passed you by?
Get busy with your own life and stop focussing on men. Put a rubber band around your wrist and snap it everytime you think of men/relationships in anyway. Anything to make you focus your entire life on something you know you are stupid for pursuing (and I say something and not someone, because you are not after this guy as a person but as an object on your dream that being in a relationship, any relationship will suddenly fix your life).
Get a vibrator, a pet and a hobby. Because until you can be content alone, you can't do better.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (30 December 2009):
You need to look at yourself and your own life. If you're lonely, you'll take second rate men until you can build up your own esteem and confidence again. The only real way to get over him is to throw yourself into your own life. Find hobbies, focus on work, spoil yourself and such. You'll get there, but you need to focus on your own life to get over this man.
...............................
|
