A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:hi, i am 36-yr old male but look like 27yr, i.e, everyone says as well as i know my appearance and I got married in my 29 and now I came to know after 7-yrs, my wife used to love somebody before marriage, who was muslim smart and handsome person but not got married for some problem. even I used to love someone before marriage but she was not ready to marry me and not got married. but one of biggest problem is my wife confessed everything regarding her love but whenever I remember those happy moments of my wife with him I feel pain and moreover I feel very pain in my heart regarding the words she told that 'I used to love him, he was handsome, smart, he was muslim' but my request with all of you is please if any one who gone through like this kind of pain or situation please help me how to overcome from this horrible pain and I know I need to forgive her and forget that and I have forgiven her because she loves me a lot but not able to forget what was happened. However,I feel myself I am a pshyco. what to do, do I need to consult pshycologist or anything else solution is there, pl help me
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2010): If this is before she met you, it has nothing to do with you.
Also, you loved someone else before you met her so what's with the hypocrisy?
You need to work this out with yourself. It's not her problem. It's your problem. She's just a human being who grew up and fell in love and it didn't work out and now she found you--her love interest and someone she's married to.
I'm a guy and I will tell you that unless you conquer this ugly beast in your soul, it will destroy your relationship and you.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (5 August 2010):
 You need to remind yourself that even if she used to love someone, she and that person didn't get married. She married you. She loves you now, just like you love her, even though you too used to love someone else. You don't get only once chance to love in your life. If your heart is big enough, and has healed, you can love many times. And now the two of you are married and love each other. Just because she loved before she met you, doesn't mean she loves you less. She probably loves you more, since you are now married.
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