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female
,
anonymous
writes: my dad was my best friend, but he passed away 2 years ago, and i cant get over it. i mean i really cant! please help!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2006): My dad passed away last month. I often think about the things he gave me, the lessons he taught me and the example he was for me. I also think about what I can do that would make him proud. He told me and my brother that we need to look after those we love, now and in the future. That, I guess, includes ourselves.
My advice is to feel the good that came from your father and be the person he has helped you to be and no problems.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2006): My dad died on 9th November many years ago and i still can't stop thinking about him. The wounds do heal in time. You will never forget him, i think about my dad every day. It so hard loosing someone so close. We were best friends and he died suddenly of cancer without any illness or warning. I just hope you can come to terms with it. I'll be thinking of you.
Take care
xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2006): ur father must of been a brilliant dude..i lost my uncle last year..it made me appreciate others around me a whole lot more...i always belive that god will one day alow us to meet our loved ones..n we'll have a big party in heaven one day...my freind..ur father would have wanted u to be happy..and may i add...u havnt lost him...ur dad is still around..hes in ur heart,ur emotions...ur every move..smile..bcuz hes smiling with u!...best of luck and GOD bless...freind x
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A
female
reader, xLEAHx  +, writes (7 November 2006):
 I really know what your going through, 9 yrs ago i lost my mum,you think at the time how am i going to get along and live without them,especially when your really close to a parent..but it does get easier in time believe me,your never forget your dad and he'l always be in your heart,and he wouldn't want to see you this way, he'd want you to get on with your life i know its been 2 years and with some people it takes longer,but as the saying goes 'LIFE GOES ON' and it does hunny,have you tried talking to your mum about how you feel ? its obvious that everytime his mentioned, or you see a photo your going to get teary and emotional ..its normal to do so.. why not make an appointment with your doctor he/she may be able to put you in touch with a counceler if you feel you can't cope with your fathers death..
good luck xLEAHx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2006): It is never easy losing someone so close to you.You are probably youngish and your lost your father too soon.Two years is a long time to hold on to a grief.I had lost both parents now but even so I wouldn't for a moment said I know how you feel or had felt with your lost.However,the usual saying time will heal and I subscribe to that.
Sorry to know that you are still feeling such pain though in psychological term it can be classified as abnormal grief.What I meant is that you probably did not get enough help to go through it properly.Consulting a counselor or a psychologist will help.
If you do not wish to go down that route,then maybe you could ask yourself what make you want to hold on for so long?Are you stuck in the anger/depressed state because you had vision of how your life would be and now it is gone.Maybe it is due to the difficulty of you being angry with your dad for leaving you in the lurch.Let me say it is not wrong to feel that,it is just possibly our guilt feeling not allowing us to think that way because he had been a great father.You could compartmentalise his qualites into a corner of your mind and reminisce when you want to but use the rest of your mind/energy to form new acquaintances/friends whom you can share your highs and lows with.No comparison because each one of us is different.Furthermore you could let go a small reminder of him each day and tell yourself it is time to move on.You will never forget him because it is in your memory,you don't need things to remind you.
It is not easy for you but it can be done.All my best regards.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2006): This is a extremely traumatic experience and nothing in life really prepares you for it. I would suggest that you speak to your close family and explain how you feel. But I would go to counselling and this will help you come to terms with your loss. I know it's difficult but it will take time to heal and you will never completely get over the loss he will always be in your memory but try to look at all the good things you done. Good Luck and and sorry about your loss.
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A
female
reader, Evangeline +, writes (7 November 2006):
 My father was killed when i was 7 in a swimming accident, I am now 16 and still find it hard to come to terms with. Sometimes I still really believe he will come back so I can show him all the achievements I've made in my life since he went.
It maybe useful to know that it takes at least 2 years for someone to get over the initial shock of a close love one passing. That means that many people are in a state of shock for 2 years minimum afterwards! This is especially true if that person died in unusual or sudden circumstances.
Other things that trigger the feelings you have can be if you have another big change in your life soon afterwards; like the birth of a child, moving house, divorce, exams, changing work/school etc. These should still be avoided if possible for a long time after the death of someone. If you have been under pressure recently in any part of your life (however trivial by comparrison) these feelings of saddness will be made worse!
You also have to accept that loosing someone you love is very sad and it does take time for you to get over them. Dont think its unusual or that there is something wrong. There are lots of services out there that are available for you to contact; many groups therapies or single sessions in many forms opperate all over the place!
It maybe worthwhile to get in touch with them - as it may really help you to come to terms with what has happened. It sounds like you really want to and need to talk to someone about it; it has been 2 years now - it may be the right time.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2006): Loosing a loved one can be really tough but life goes on.Im
sure your farther wouldnt have wanted you to be moarning for 2 years.If you can speak to someone close to you about it and mabe they can help and put your mind at ease or you could go and see a counceler someone who is expierinced in these types of things.Good luck and i hope you can come to terms with the loss.xxx
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