A
male
age
41-50,
*abbahut905
writes:Sorry to be such a pain but nothing is cheering me up I have no enthusiasm for any activities anymore I had been enjoying before Kim dumped me and she hasn't called me , sorry to keep going on but everything is reminding me of her , I have TMF on right now the music channel and they Just played Avril Lavignes song when you're gone and I just Can't hold it together. I am in my bedroom tring to listen to avrils best damn thing album but they were all our songs and its just so painful , I tell you one thing I'm giving up on love forever now its just too much heartache nothing is working and on top of me trying to get over this relationship. I have still got my parents on my back over what they have found in the trash its just too much I'm never having relationships again they're just not worth it they just let you down and break your heart . Many thanks to all who have tryed helping so far for previous answers but I'm just at the end of my rope here .
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, agonyauntlisaxxxx +, writes (27 August 2007):
 I know what it's like to be in ur shoes to feel ur in a dark place and no one can help you and what everyone is telling you is worthless and don't help and that no ones been through what you've been through.But trust me, you will get through it, Take your mind off it. Go out and live the single life for now enjoy it while you can, embrace it, embrace life, You're relationship ended for a reason, learn from the reason, Kim wasn't the girl for you, you deserve better! There's the right girl out there for you, it takes time to find her.DON'T GIVE UP ON LOVE BECAUSE OF KIM! SHE'S NOT WORTH UR THOUGHTS OR FEELINGS!Trust me when I say you will get over this, concentrate on you're life now, begin new hobbies, begin a new chapter in you're life and leave the past in the past, keep busy and you will forget Kim in time. xxx
A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (27 August 2007):
 Hi Jabba,
Skye is right.
Time is a great healer you know. I have said this to a few people recently, but it really is a good book, buy Starting again, its a relate book. It covers all aspects from thinking of splitting up through to actually doing it, why you get with certain people, why you feel certain ways! The emotional rollercoaster you go through. The lot.
I got it off eBay cheap. Have a look for it.
The end of a relationship sucks and its normal for you to feel all those things you are feeling!
Stop listening to music you know will remind you! You're just prolonging the agony.
Your family situation is another issue altogether i expect.
Stay strong hun. You sounds like a blooming good person with a lot to offer! That would be a big waste!
Take care.
C xxxxx
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A
female
reader, skye +, writes (26 August 2007):
 Im really sorry that you are feeling this way. I know it doesnt help you right now, but honestly most people have been in your shoes at some point in their lives and it it really does get easier with time.
Im not going to tell you to forget about Kim. I know you cant just yet, however you must do something proactive. For the "here and now" you need some ways to keep yourself busy, for listening to your favourite songs as a couple is only fueling your upset.
Clear out the garage or attic, decorate that room you have been planning to do for ages. Go to the cinema with your friends, or plan a lads hoilday. Learn that new skill you have always promosed you would do, such as a language, diy at your local night school, or basic car mechanics.
Find a family member or friend who needs help and busy yorself. Walk your dog in the park. Its great exercise and your dog will love it. Exercise has been proven to release positive emotions and this will surely help you heal your still open wounds. If you dont have a dog, borrow one from an elderly neighbour perhaps who would be grateful for the help. Anything you can think of to keep yourself busy will be helpful. Dont wallow in self-pity, realise that other people get down too. Try to see what they need help with that you could lend a hand towards. You could bring a bit of happiness to the live of someone who really could use your help.
Yes, Kim will still enter your thoughts for a while but if you keep busy one day soon you will realise that you havent thought about her for an hour or so. Then it will lessen and you can go through whole days without thinking of her.
Honestly, you wont always feel this way. You simply need to do somethings positive to help you through this sad period. Dont shut out all relationships, for you would be a much poorer person without them. The right girl is out there for you in your future. Who knows, perhaps you will find her through the kindness you will express towards other people as you help yourself heal.
Best wishes,
Skye
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