A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i cant get over my ex fiance.i have tried really hard. when we were together he was very matter of fact and not emotionally caring. i did so much for him. we were together about 3 1/2 years. we got engaged together about 6 months after we met and a year later we got a house-the mortgage was in his name due to my credit score being low. the problems started because we worked in a big place and i was friends with another guy-we got on really well-i know youve heard this before but he showed me attention that i never got from my ex. im ashamed-really ashamed to say i enjoyed the attention. it started causing problems and eventually i split with my fiance. i dont know what happened.anyway god knows what was going on in my head but i continued to pay the mortgage for 6 months athen stopped.i did eventually start dating the other guy. im in tears writing this because he turned out to be the biggest scum bag on earth. he has left me financially destitute treated me quite badly and was once or twice physically abusive to me. and im still paying the rent as hes got me feeling so badi know theres some of you that willl mention grass is greener etc but i honestly never thought i would be like that.anyway by chance 3 month ago my ex requested me on facebook i had heard through mutual friends he had got married -i was devastated . i have spoken to friends since and they say why do i feel bad as he was never that great to me-he sold the house-i was living with him in it for 2 years-he never told me but wanted me as his friend.its so weird as we started talking normally and he asked if i was ok and did i want him to call ? then he was emailing me at strange time 1/2 in the morning so im not sure his wife was aware. anyway i have felt so low and depressed i sent an email apologising for everything. he sent a vague reply but then it got too much and i had to ask him to delete me as a friend-i never heard since. i hate myself i have ruined my life i made myself look a fool apologising to him when he never apologised for selling the house without telling me. im devastated about everything i dont know how to goo from here-sorry for the length.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Red Green 0289  +, writes (25 October 2009):
Stop wishing for a better past. Let it go.
You need to start anew and get on with your life, as your going to waste what should be very good years playing "what if...".
Cut off all contact with BOTH your ex's, and start to heal. If you stay in contact with either of them, your going to prevent the healing.
A
female
reader, sarcy24 +, writes (25 October 2009):
 Don't spend anymore time dwelling on this. What has been is over and done with and hindsight is a wonderful thing. Leave both of the guys alone. If the ex fiance had been so wonderful you would not have been tempted by another and it is only that you are feeling low that you are remembering the relationship being better than it was. Opt out for a little while and concentrate on yourself. Get your body and mind fit, put yourself and what you need first and when you begin to recover then you can start looking for someone new. Neither of these chaps were right for you so put them firmly behind you, stop paying the rent, and think only of yourself for a while.
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A
female
reader, Shiny Moon  +, writes (25 October 2009):
try to forget everything and make a new beginning. try to change urself. try not to trust anybody so easily. be careful now that u learnt a good lesson think twice before u act. now u will not get anything thinking abt this. so better move on in ur life. try to get urself busy and time is the best healer. Forget about ur ex. he is married. you shud not try contacting him. avoid him if he does. you will be more hurt if u try to be in contact with him. dont ask about his where abouts from ur frends. just erase him from ur mind. its difficult but not impossible.
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