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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Hi, everytime I think I'm getting over my ex, I start hurting again and then I cry. I'm afraid I'm going to keep hurting. I really want to get over him. I having been doing things trying to help get over him such as read the bible, pray, hang with love ones, but he still keeps popping up in my head because he's still in my heart. Any advice?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2009): time. its just time hun. you will probably always love him but that hurt in your heart just takes time. Talk to someone. sometimes just blurting it all out helps..
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2009): May I ask how long it has been since your break-up and how long were you two together? There is a saying that goes 'for every year together, it takes half as long to get over'. Now I've found from experience that that is actually too long, in my case, but I do know it takes a while for you to get over someone.
One trick I did when I had a particularly hard time getting over someone is that I would picture a huge door in my mind and each time thoughts of he would manifest, I would slam the door in his face. I have also heard others picturing there exes with pimples all over their face, or some disfiguring deformity.
Overall the best thing to do is to keep the mind busy with other things so it doesn't have time to reminisce and linger on old times. Eventually the thoughts become less frequent, but it takes time.
There is a natural grieving process you must go through.....we try to deny it's over and fantasize that we will get back together, we try to bargain ways back in, we hurt like hell, we get angry and finally one day, we heal. Then and only then is when we are ready to start a new relationship. Most people don't give themselves the time to heal properly and end up carrying alot of baggage into their next relationship.
It is best to give it time and keep busy....I'm sorry you are hurting cyber hug One more thing, when you pray, don't pray to get back together with him, pray to feel better and love again.
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