A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello readers,I am having trouble getting over my ex girlfriend. We have been together for 2yrs and over that time we have had our ups and downs. Ultimately though I have been happy but she said she hasn't been. Since our break up I have been seeing a new girl for a month but I still can not get over my ex. We met up for dinner a few nights ago and I decided to tell her about this new girl I been seeing, for a few seconds I could see discomfort on her face, her facial muscles just dropped. She was the one who ended it and is sure she has no feelings left for me at all when I confronted her and she said she wanted me to move on. I want her back badly I told her I still love her but she said she doesn't want to go through it again. Since our last meet I had already broken off with the new girl hoping to get my ex back but she insisted I should stay with the new girl :(I know time will heal everything but I don't want it to, I want my ex back.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (7 January 2014):
 Hi,
You've told your ex how you feel and she has been clear with you. Unfortunately you have to respect her decision that it's over, even though it's not what you want.
The best thing I can suggest is to stop meeting up with your ex. I know that probably sounds like a horrible suggestion, but stopping meeting up - and stopping all other contact - really is the best way to get over someone. Time will heal things eventually, but continuing to see someone you pine for and love just keeps reopening the wound rather than letting it heal. Even keeping tabs on Facebook etc is unhelpful. Going cold turkey is difficult but effective for moving on. Maybe there will be a possibility for friendship at some point, but not now.
It might be better to stop dating other people until you're over your ex. If someone falls for you and your heart is not in it (and it can't be, while you're still in love with your ex), you'll hurt them (it's no fun being the rebound girl!). You can distract yourself during this difficult time by spending time with friends and family instead of dating.
All the best.
A
female
reader, cmarieky  +, writes (7 January 2014):
For whatever reason she may miss you too but know that it will only last lovely for a while. It is really not what she wants you both miss each other but there is not enough for her to want more. There's incompatibility. No contact is best to heal.
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