A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So been with my bf for over 2 years and have a 9 month old child with him. When we got together he talked about his ex loads (He split from her 3 months before) He would make out she cheated on him but them say that he loved things about her and made me feel that im not good enough. It has been 2 years now and i still think about it all and i cant help it. I dont want to but someone will say something innocently and she will pop into my mind and thats it... im in a bad mood. I know my bf loves me but he sayyd it has been2 years and he is sorry but i need to get over it. he says he never loved her and that he didnt mean what he said back then, he just wanted me to be his type o girl she he told me she was things she wasnt so maybe i would be like that. i want to get over this but is jst in my mind all the time. Now this morning i went online to his social networking site and went back to 2010 just after we got together and in a status he mentions his ex.. again she comes into my mind. he loves me but i dont like feeling i was a rebound to begin with.how can i get past it..oh and if i tell him about what i found today then he will blow it off or say i should go back in time on the internet.. thanks
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female
reader, flowergirl11 +, writes (13 June 2012):
I think honestly you need to find a time when the baby is sleeping, you two are ALONE, and you can both talk intimately. Tell him you need to discuss something with him that's important and has been bothering you. Have a glass or wine or something to relax you both (it helps you open up if you're relaxed), Then, ask him to listen whilst you talk, and tell him he can input when you've finished. Then let out everything you need to say, and when you're finished, listen to him carefully about how he feels on the issue. Keep this going, and keep talking, and try to remain calm. You may get upset, as you're opening up, but it's really, really, really important to communicate. Honestly, most relationships require communication, and the fact that you came here to talk to us strangers, rather than your significant other shows that you really need to talk to him! Do it before it's too late! It will really help, and it will help you get past those feelings that you create in your mind. If your boyfriend takes your relationship seriously, he will listen to you. I know how difficult it is when you've got a kid as it brings all the insecurities you have to the surface, so it's really important to discuss and be open with your partner.
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