A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My new boyfriend and I have a bit of a issue in the bedroom. He has a massive penis way larger than any iv ever seen before lol. The problem is that he dosent orgasm for absoloutly ages and most times I have to 'finish him off' so to speak by giving him oral sex.I feel absoloutly terrible because i always come at least twice while we are having sex and I really want him to enjoy it too.Its not an issue of tightness im wondering do you think that maybe 1/ maybe he just doesn't find me sexually attractive 2/ my 'tequnique' is crap 4/ is the condom too tight we buy the largest size but he still finds them a bit painful (never complains though but I can tell when he puts it on and takes it off) 3/ or do larger sized guys have trouble coming.He tells me im beautiful all the time so im hoping its not just a lack of attraction. Im just so used to my boyfriends being premature ejaculators (3 thrusts and its over kind of thing lol) that im a little perpleced by this situation.
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condom, my ex, oral sex, orgasm, too tight Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2008): Hi, I'm a well endowed guy who rarely comes during sex. I personally don't think it's an issue at all (except when girls make an issue of it). You say you feel bad because you come and you want him to enjoy it too. Well guess what, he does enjoy it! If he didn't he wouldn't come back for more.
The only time coming (or not coming) is an issue for me, is when a girl says she really wants me to and doesn't believe me when I say I don't come much. I can tell she's feeling inadequate in some way because I haven't come yet, afterall the vast majority of guys come very quickly and this is what girls are used to. So sometimes I fall into the trap of trying to make myself come for a girl out of sympathy and a lot of the time it's just not happening, this just causes frustration for both of us. I've even stooped so low as to fake it on many occasions.
I really don't know why I can't come as readily as I used to when I was say.. 21 (I'm only 29 now), I have my suspiscions but nothing conclusive. It's certainly nothing to do with size, or not finding the girl attractive. Condoms can cause a problem when putting them on but once they're on they're fine. This brings us down to technique.
I have certain ways I can come, certain positions, certain things my girlfriend (who is by the way extremely attractive and sexy) can say to help push me over the edge, certain things I can think about. Without any of this my chances of coming during sex or a blowjob with her are almost zero. With a combination of these things we can push it to maybe 75%.
That doesn't mean I come 75% of the time. I've got her past the insecure stage that you're at now. She realises that I don't feel the need to come all the time and believes that I enjoy having sex with her and also believes (kinda) that I really do find her attractive. When I want to cum I'll tell her and she'll help by doing those certain things I've taught her to do, if it still doesn't happen then that's just the way the cookie crumbles, it's nothing to do with her it's all in me.
Remember; it's not a problem unless one of you makes it one, it's not you it's him, sex isn't just about coming that's what wanking is for. Don't be afraid to talk to him about it, chances are he feels just as insecure about it as you do.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2008): Often when I have frequent sex (for me it was every day), I end up lasting longer and longer, until it takes forever (even though masturbation still doesn't take long)
If he stop masturbating, and you guys arent doing it every day, it should shorten up a bit.
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