A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok well my girlfriend of about 3 years left me for another guy. Ive been feeling really crappy even after i do other things to keep me busy. What gets to me the most is that i kept talking to her after she left because i was not over her and she said she still had really strong feeling for me but sometimes when she talked to me she would mention details about her new guy. Everytime i try to do something else i just keep thinking about the details she told me. The details are like what shes done with him physically and some qualities that she thinks he has better than me. I know i should have just stopped talking to her when it happened but i chose the wrong choice and i was there to hear those details and even hear her tell him she loves him.Well anyways since she is serious with this guy and i saw there was no way of getting back with her, i decided to stop talking to her. What i wanted to know is what any of you guys did if you were ever in my situation to try and forget her. When i do anything like school or work she still is in the back of my mind and i cant stop thinking about all the emotional damage she has caused me. I do have family, friends, a job, school, and a car ive been working on, but i just cant find a way to somehow forget about her. I am not big on dating other girls well because i dont know many girls. The girls i talk to and like all have boyfriends and although im not necesseraly shy, i dont really know what to say when i see a girl i like in the halls at school. I dont want to go up to them and have them thinking im a creep.Anyways, i would like to hear any tips on what to do to try and forget or simply get over her. Real life experiences that you guys have lived would help alot. I know im young and i will eventually find someone great but i need something to help me releve my stress because it is affecting my grades and my work. I do turn 18 in like 2 days by the way, i know my name might say 16-17 age group.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you guys for the advice. It has just been really hard lately but i know ill pull through. Im going to try to just keep myself busy with my car and school work. Maybe work out a little so i can find a new girl ha. Well anyways thank you guys and if someone wants to add any more to it i would appreciate it also.
A
male
reader, Welsh Uncle Dave  +, writes (5 November 2010):
Unfortunately our minds are not like switches and you can't just turn them off.
Accepting that she has moved on is the first step and you are doing the right things in trying to keep yourself occupied.
Assuming she is your first love, they can usually be the hardest to get over as you have no other experiences to compare with.
Her telling you stuff about the other guy is probably partly to make you feel jealous, but you have to ignore this.
Time is a healer.
You are still young, you will get over it and you will have plenty of other experiences.
A new girl on the scene would probably help you, just be yourself, just start chatting and see how you go, you will find someone new.
But when you do, as hard as it may be, do not try and compare her to your ex. This is a new and different person, a new and different relationship.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2010): hi, at almost 18 years old you have years of life ahead of you. Big lessons and sad realisations are tough to deal with. It's hard, but some things are not meant to be. It's a tough lesson to have to learn. Do you play sport? If you throw yourself into getting fitter it may be an outlet to help you deal with how you are feeling right now. In life it is not the problem confronting you that is the issue. The real issue is how well you address and deal effectively with the problem. You and your former fickle girl friend were both too young to enter into a relationship. Smart guys concentrate on their studies first, then a job or University, depending on where they are heading. Then they build up some savings. And the even smarter ones plan to do some travelling, learn about the world. Your local neighborhood, the place where you live, the country you live in, is just one part of an amazing world that is out there. Just waiting to be discovered, places to see, great experiences to enjoy. Learn and grow as a man. Learn more and come to Know what really is of value to you, grow into the man you want to be. And finally smart men set about looking for an intelligent, well adjusted stable woman, with her fimances in order and good earning potential. Believe me enough money to settle down is always going to cost more than you think. So finally smart men find the woman they know will be genuine, true and faithful, and a good mother to their children. Dont ruin your life by prematurely settling for second best or third best, before you have lived some life and learnt more about the world. And grown as a man into the great man you can become.
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