A
male
age
30-35,
*akers_lover09
writes:My ex and I broke up recently. We had a great relationship of two years that started off as friends. We broke up because we are both growing into different people, but I want to fight through that because I believe that's what love is..fighting through anything. Well we have still been in contact and the feelings she fought a week ago are beginning to show, little by little. She tells me she misses me and loves me, asks if she can call me in the middle of the night. She came to my house with my family and watched the superbowl in my lap. She asked me to massage her, we kissed a lot and she told me she loved me so much. Later, I asked for a favor and she replied "babe I would do anything for u". I haven't heard from her all day today. What do you think her intentions are? Should I pursue her? Should I go all out for her on Valentine's Day? Thank you.
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female
reader, kirra07  +, writes (8 February 2011):
No, you shouldn't go all out for her on Valentine's Day. It would be a very sweet gesture, and would probably make most girls melt, including her, but that doesn't mean it will lead to a good relationship.
After breaking up for a reason, if you want to get back together, it has to be after a serious discussion about what was wrong, how you will fix it, etc. What has been going on seems to be more a phase of both of you missing each other or missing being in a relationship or feeling lonely. You might win her back with a beautiful gesture on Valentine's Day, but what happens when the novelty of that gesture wears out? You can't be wooing her into being in a relationship every day. You have to face and tackle the problems of the relationship first.
If you want to pursue her, that's fine. But talk to her about how you still love and want to be with her, that you're willing to put in work to make the relationship work, but ONLY IF she is willing to and wants to as well. If she says yes, talk about things that you can both do to make sure the relationship gets better. Otherwise, it's time to let go and move on.
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