A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:The following is a bit blunt I hope you don't mind!My girlfriend and I enjoy a healthy relationship and while we haven't had sex yet we are both comfortable with third base and full nudity. If I 'finger' her then she comes, but the thing is, I can't come during a handjob. I was mortified when she told me the other night she thought she was rubbish in bed because she came but she couldn't make me do it.The thing is, I masturbate differently from the norm- I normally lie face down and rub my penis with two hands, it's how I've always done it. Therefore that turns me on a lot more than the conventional method, so when my girlfriend does it then it doesn't feel particularly good. I've tried watching porn with the 'conventional' method, my penis gets hard but nothing has appeared. I'm scared she thinks she's doing it wrong, or even worse, during a blowjob or sex I won't reach ejaculation.How do I rectify this? I can't really change my masturbation methods after all these years. I don't understand the pulling the foreskin back bit because when I've tried that it has really quite hurt. I was thinking should I masturbate less/stop altogether so that there's more chance of me ejaculating when I'm in bed... I don't know! Please give me some tips :)
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blow-job, ejaculate, ejaculation, foreskin, hand-job, my penis, porn, third base Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice  +, writes (6 February 2010):
 You are on the right track. Yes avoid masturbating a few days before your next meeting. Try a different method. I would recommend her taking you between her breasts with her lying on top of you. This should be much more like your regular method. Lube is good advice. She can tease with her fingertips or lips from this position, which is very good IMHO. Clean up is a little messier unless you are wearing a condom, which is recommended for STI reasons.
Be creative and keep communicating. It will strengthen your relationship to solve this together.
FA
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2010): There is a issue here and it is not your fault. From what you describe it seems that you have a condition called phimosis. In years gone by, the doctor would recommend circumcision. There is no need for that now. There are plenty of sites for non-circumcision and how your foreskin should work. Get the info and understand your body.You should be able to retract the forshin fully and expose the glans or head. But I think you can't. When you have sex the skin should roll back and the inside skin becomes outside, all rather clever. The inside of the foreskin and the exposed head is very very sensitive and will get you very revved up. If the skin does not pull back or retract you miss out on those intense feelings. This is why you rub your penis with both hands. This moves the skin about over the head to give the necessary stimulation.So -- how to deal with the problem. People (like me) who have been circumcised miss out and feel not intact etc. so we stretch the remaining skin and help it to grow again. You see if you regulary stretch skin it will grow additional cells and slowly stretch. This is why fat people who slim and diet, end up with slack skin that "needs toning" or something.You need to gently and regulary stretch the foreskin, right at the end so it will slide over the head, when it is hard and big. Try to work your little finger into the skin and gain some slack. Just enough stretch to the point that it feels uncomfortable. Gradually move on to larger fingers as the skin gives and stretches. Try and get hold of Betnovate creme as this is a hydrocortisone steroid. Application of this creme is mainly for skin irritation problems, but a side effect is that it softens and thins tough skin. As such it will help your stretching process.This will not be a quick process and nature will not be hurried. Allow yourself about 12 months, before you can fully retract your foreskin. Your Doctor will probably suggest other "softening" skin ointments, but what ever you do don't get circumcised ever.Good luck, and let me know how you get on.
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A
female
reader, Brooklyngirl +, writes (6 February 2010):
 Have you tried oral sex yet? That may make all the difference in the world! Keep experimenting till you find a workable routine!
Good Luck
~BG~
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