A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I can't decide between 2 guys. The first guy i dated for about 3 months then he left me for another girl who was pregnant with someone else's baby. Then he broke up with her and came back to me where he continued to sleep with her behind my back. He's a really sweet guy when he tries to be, I still have feelings for him i wouldn't necessarily call it love but there is something there. I'm just worried that i'll get hurt again.The second guy i met in high school, he's really sweet and easy to talk to. He recently converted to Islam, which i think is great for him but i don't feel comfortable with it. He was always religious and i didn't mind that but it seems like every time we talk, he brings up his religion. He's stopped recently but i know deep down he wants to talk about it. I'm not biased i just don't talk about religion. We were talking a few days ago about if we started dating and where it would go. Then he asked me if we ever had kids together, would i allow our kids to be raised Islamic. I told him its something we would have to discuss because i'd feel like my kids wouldn't be like me. He'd want to take them to the mosque and study the qu'ran. Then i said that i wouldn't be able to go into the mosque and then he told me that i could i would just have to enter through another doorway and possibly where a veil. I don't feel comfortable at all with the thought of that. I don't want to seem like a prude but i just don't know what to do.. So my questions are.. 1. Should i give guy # 1 another chance? and risk being cheated on again? or 2. Should i give guy #2 a chance? and not let his religion come between us?
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2010): Definitely not guy one. On the other hand, I think you should date guy two. If you two end of falling in love with each other then the religion thing should work its self out some how.
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female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (17 September 2010):
 I'm sorry, but your question made me laugh.
A cheater or a guy whose religion you cant share?
What a choice
Oh, here is a novel idea, why not not chose neither of them?
It's not as if there are no more men anywhere in the world, and your perfect match could be somebody you haven't even MET yet!
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (17 September 2010):
 The cheater or the guy you really have nothing in common with? Hmmm tough choice, how about neither. I'm not going to even go there about the cheater, you'd be an idiot to go back to him. No, he won't refrain from cheating on you again.
This other guy seems really nice but you didn't say you liked anywhere in your post. The first one you did but not the second one. Now, that's great that he's found his religion and really in tune with whatever form of God he worships..but I can see where he could potentially try to convert you to his religion. I don't agree with someone trying to push their religion on you, you can worship God however you please there is no religion better than the other. Really, I don't like either of your choices...and I too think you need to hold out for someone better.
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male
reader, Boy Blue +, writes (17 September 2010):
Well definitely NOT guy one.
Guy two seems like there's a shot even though there are some path issues to work out...which I would suppose is normal for many people..because sometimes it may not be religion that is the issue, it could be jobs/career paths. I don't know if there are people who are in these kind of relationships on the site, but maybe a few of them can provide some experience to share.
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male
reader, OBAINOBILLZ  +, writes (17 September 2010):
one thing i am sure of is that ur a girl who wants to love and be loved in return, also its not compulsory to be in a relationship when ur confused all the time on what to do. its good that you recognize the problem and thats a step toward solving it. you dont want to get hurt by ur first guy cause he hurt you once, babe ur first guy dont love you and am sorry to say that, he's just a greedy man you wants to eat his cake and have it so you know what to do. think with ur head and not with ur heart from now on, at least for the time being. and the other Muslim guy who already wants ur unborn kids to be Muslim is just a actin weird. if he love you he should respect ur wishes. for God sake ur not married yet and you already have something to argue about. marriage is a life time contract dont forget that. i know you dont like the Muslim thing so pls dont make a wrong choice.
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female
reader, Llamainyourpants  +, writes (17 September 2010):
Honestly , I wouldnt go for either . If theres no trust theres no relationship . && if you dont feel comfortable with a guy then its just awkward . Wait and see what happens . Maybe something better will come along .
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