| A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: This is such a stupid question, I guess, but I would still like some answers please...When I met my husband 6 y ago, I was blown away. He was really hot, and I couldnt believe that he was interested in me! I am quite plain, you see. I was just swept away, and thought what the hell, go with the flow in this relationship, because it is not gonna last long!Then he asks me to marry him. I couldnt believe it. Me? And we did. And it seemd like a fairy tale...Anyway, with time, I have had 2 babies and picked up a bit of weight (and i was slightly chubby before!) And I just feel even uglier in the mirror. I dont say anything to him , though.He, in turn has only gotten better looking. More distinguished if you like. Stayed very lean and muscular, gotten those greyish look at the temples and stands tall and just looks damn good. Women blatantly ogle him in the street, and doesnt even seem to notice I am standing right next to him, hallloooo!In me everything has gone south!And a difference that was there before, in looks, has now become so much more pronounced! What will it be like in another few years?He compliments me on being a good mother, and cook, and wife. But never says anything about looks. And i dont ask because i dont want to hear.At night i keep the lights off, and undress in the bathroom. I asked him once if he minded the light off. And he said no, he likes to feel me more than look at me! (And being a woman i took that to mean: You are so ugly i dont want to see you)Any idea how to cope with this?(Please dont say i am stupid, and should just be glad he picked me. I am almost getting panic attacks about this already!) Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, busy04  +, writes (6 August 2009):
 You are not stupid!
And I am sorry you feel this way about yourself, but there was something in you that made your husband want YOU! :)
I think what you should do is talk to your husband about it though, cause I'm sure he wouldn't want his wife thinking that way. You said that you are a little on the "plain" side, but there are some things you can do about that. You know, you can spice yourself up a bit, get a new hair do or some new clothes, you don't have to do much but anything can help. And if you're concerned about your extra weight from the babies you had, start doing light exercising and change certain eating habits, small steps. And I'm sure your husband can help you with this & he'd be glad too.
But besides all the outward stuff, find something within yourself that you love and appreciate about you and focus on that. There has to be something good about you! You know like your ability to be a good wife & mother, those types of things and other qualities that you have that make you a good person. And thinking on those things will contribute to you thinking about your outward beauty and the inward will work on the outward...everyone is beautiful, everyone is special. You just have to find it within yourself and let it show! :)
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2009): i bet if you were to say this to your husband he would be shocked.
it doesnt matter how we look in a relationship, once its been a few years with someone and we are in love we stop noticing how the other is on the outside all we see is that person on the inside. your husband loves you for who you are and believe me that is the way it should be.
he loves the whole package. you are his lovely wife, great mother/cook and that is what he values.
he diddnt just pick you, you also picked him.
and i bet he is more than happy that you did.
...............................
|
