A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Just a week ago my boyfriend told me that his no longer interested in me and wants to move forward with another girl. I have deleted all his contacts and pictures from my laptop and cell. Worst thing is we both are working in the same company. Everyday i have to face him. The more im trying to forget him the more i miss him when i see him at work. At times i feel like running to him, hold him and tell him to come back to my life. M having heart aches whenever i think about him. Please help me how can i face him without fooling myself. How can i forget all his memories and move forward.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (31 March 2014):
 It's only been a week... give yourself time to heal.
If you can take some time off do it. Just don't call in or not show up... plan it... stay home and soothe yourself.
the best way to move forward is to live well for yourself.
there is no point in fooling yourself. it's going to hurt to see him. The best thing to do is be as proper and professional as you possibly can. IF you have no need to have interaction with him at work t hen do that. If you must talk to him for work related things keep it as professional and public as possible. Do as much as you can by email.
time will heal this...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2014): Your dilemma is one of the reasons I often advise people not to date or form relationships at the workplace. It's messy when there are spats or breakups. There is also the danger of retaliation should one of the couple assume a position of authority and power over the other.
In your case; you'll simply have to face him, and keep your mind focused on your job. You were hired to fulfill a job-function; and there are times when we have to be professionals and leave our personal-lives at home.
Your only option is to seek a new position in an area within the company where you are less likely to cross-paths; or just suck it up, and deal with it. Jobs are hard to come by; so seeking new employment should be your last resort. It's better to face it head-on.
My dear, there will often come times in our adult lives we have to have courage and strength. This is one of them. It is early-on after the breakup; so this is the hardest phase of your recovery process. You bravely did everything else; but now comes the toughest part of all. Not letting him get to you.
You can't let him see tears or your pain. You've got to push yourself. Your subconscious is fighting you, trying to adjust to the fact you no longer have him. It was used to having him in your life and centering your attention on maintaining a connection. Now it struggles trying to make the adjustment of living without him. It's like withdrawing from an addictive-drug; all the same brain chemicals and the same sections of the brain at work. Strange isn't it? But true.
There is no cure for the raw feelings; they simply have to run their course. You are feeling grief and loss. You are ruminating over your past each time he is visible to the eye. However; your mind is making subtle adjustments. You suffer, because you realize the futility. That's how the mind adjusts to loss. Grief is the source of your agony.
Like someone has died.
You can block him. By thinking about your job, put some positive reminders in your phone as affirmations to read to yourself every-time you feel yourself falling apart. Put positive quotes and affirmations on your screensaver as reminders that you are stronger than you ever were. Stop surrendering all your power to him. He is growing confident knowing he left you weak and falling apart. Weepy and sappy.
That's not the image you want to project for him. It's not the reflection of yourself you want to view in the mirror.
Like you, I felt like the world was crashing down on me when I got dumped. I just went to family and friends, and read everything I could get my hands on. I went to the gym, sunk myself into volunteer work; and just went out with friends and had a jolly good time. Oh, there were intermittent relapses and down-days; but they grew fewer and fewer over-time.
As a society that expects everything in a matter of seconds, and demanding instant gratification; being told time will heal, is the last thing we want to hear.
Unfortunately, my dear; such is a fact of life. It just doesn't feel good to breakup with someone we care for, and it is agonizing. You let yourself suffer a little, or allow the emotions to flow and peter out. You take control and fight to regain balance and composure. Trying to stifle your feelings will only cause a meltdown. So you do have to give-in to your grief to some extent.
It's an uphill climb from the very start. Then it plateaus, and you start feeling a little of yourself returning. Of course seeing him everyday does keep you in limbo; but it also gives you a thicker-skin. You are building immunity by the day. Your built-in survival instincts kick-in and tell you; he is gone and it's time to get-over him. And you will. Just give it all you've got to regain your power.
We never think we've got it in us. We are built to withstand setbacks like these. If we weren't, everyone would be in the looney-bin. We work our way through it, and we have to realize our own power to cope. We rebuild our lives brick by brick, slowly we comeback.
The strong survive and the weak give-up.
You're strong. You reached out for help; because you do not want to give-up. Now work on yourself. Be totally selfish. Pamper yourself. Have some fun. Avoid self-destructive behavior. Maintain no contact. Go dancing, flirt with cute guys. No rebound romances!!! Get a makeover, get a new spring wardrobe. Avoid alcohol and drugs. Hangout with your gay male friends. We're ego-boosters. Too bad if you don't have any.
You've forgotten something.
You're single and free. You can do whatever you didn't get a chance to do before. Maybe take a vacation somewhere exotic and keep a diary of your exploits and adventures. Just live on. That's all we can do. You're young, and have so much life ahead. One dude isn't going to take all that from you. Your built-in girl-power won't let him. Life is a pisser; but what doesn't kill us makes us stronger.
Best of luck! It's the beginning of a new chapter. Not the end of the world.
Since I can't offer your a shoulder, I strongly recommend that you get a long hug from your parents. Nobody senses your pain better than they can. Hugs from mom are the best therapy ever.
It will not cure your pain, but it will re-energize you. She will offer you the most comforting words of advice.
I hope you have a good relationship with your parents,
these are the times you need them most.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (30 March 2014):
 Your never going to forget all the memories however you will move on in time. It is difficult at first and it is harder if you have to see him at work but you just need to give it time. Its only been a week so it will still be difficult for a while but you will begin to feel better. The best way to deal with seeing him at work is to ignore him. It will become easier.
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