A
female
age
26-29,
*he-Wolf
writes:Hi my name is Holly J.I'm 15 years old.I go to an all girl School.My story happened 1 year ago.I always hang out by myself.it's really hard for me to make friends.I'm a extremely shy person it took me forever just to talk to the person who sit next to me in class.At lunch time I eat by myself and study or read a book.And I alway notice a group of girls having fun together I didn't really understand what they were talking about but I always envy them.One day the leader of the group talk to me for the first time.So we walked home togheter.She told me I had beautiful long hair it was a shame that I don't style it.So she amost forced to go to a hair salon with her on the week-end so I did.I let her decide the hair cut I should get.By my surprise I got my hair cut a little to short for me.At that moment I tought she hated me all this time and wanted me to cut my hair because she kept telling how beautiful it was "long" so she trick me.When she saw it she literally jumped on me and said how cute I was.When she calmed down she said only the cutest girls look good with short hair.The next day at school I proudly walked forward and said hi to my new friend Honey.For months things were going pretty well.I met her 2 closest friend and we always hang out togheter.We were at Honey's house just the 4 of us and She asked me to get us some juice.When I came back I heard something shoking!They were talking about some guy.And apparently thats the first guy Honey had sex with last summer.At that point I had a feeling I couldn't understand it was like the same feeling when you realize you girlfriend is cheating on you.Well I had a feeling that my best friend was deceiving me.One day when I was alone with her we tried alcohol.After that she fell right asleep.And then....I kissed her.I thought I was just under the influence of alcohol.When I finally told her cause I was acting weird she laughed and said girls kiss all the time it's just a way of fooling around.I mean I kiss plenty of girls you don't see me turning lesbian any time soon is what she said.I trusted her words.One day her Honey was sick so it was just me and the other two girls.They asked me what will Ako choose as her club activity for school.I answerd "how should I know" and they said aren't you her best friend who else would it be.I was really surprised were honey and me really Bff? One day I saw Honey with a bunch of guys and that really piss me off I wanted them to back off of her.I started developing feelings towards her.But I tought that was just and extension of friendship since I never had a best friend before.We always wait for each other at the school bus stop and it's there I realize I was really in love with my best friend even if she's a girl.At the end of school I was leaning against the wall using a lip concealer that Honey lend me and I started thinking my feelings for her.I wanted to touch her to feel her just like that guy who slept with Honey last summer.I was disgusted that I felt that way.And in front of my eyes was my neibour a boy I know a little bit.I washed out my tears and we talk at MCDonalds.And he confessed and said if I wanted to go out with him.I said yes to get Honey out of my head.I had my first date in the afternoon but went to Honey house in the morning she wanted to put makeup on me.She asked me what I like about him.And I couldn't answer that.She was shocked and said "OMG Holly J you don't know!Don't you think that's weird not only that but we talk and text all the time but you didn't mention him not even once.Do you really like him or are you taking pity on him?Imagine you had someone you like how would you feel if the person you love went out with you out of pity.The natural tought that came to my mind was "Happy I would be happy but even so my love will never be fulfilled it's impossible"I was crying.She answer surprised "OMG holly you like someone who is he is he cute.Don't worry I will support you your cute and you have a great personality if I was a boy I will totally fall head over heels for you".She was so cruel.I couldn't control myself anymore so I pin her down and kissed her.And I left the house in a hurry.I CAN T BELIEVE I KISSED MY BFF LIKE THAT I'm so ashamed.After that I skipped school and fake sick because just the tought of seeing Honey is the most scariest thing in the world.Even if it's been a while I still Honey's lips on mine.The next time I see her I wouldn't be able to stop myself from kissing her again.The one that's the most important to me,the one I love the most,I met her one year ago,my closest friend and on that Sunday morning I kissed her not as a friend.PLEASE HELP!!!!PS:Sorry for the LONG story it's just on the other site I ask for advice but they never get my situation so this time I'm putting the WHOLE story for you to understand!
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male
reader, starguy  +, writes (24 August 2011):
Ok, if you are only 13-15, you need to be focusing on finishing school, and getting into college and doing something with your life, not this girl, and I will tell you why... I know you don't want to hear it.... but...Friends... and girlfriends... will come and go. They will come and go so much, they are almost worthless. There is nothing more fleeting and passing than.. friendship. I could take a rock, and set it out in my yard, and it will stay put in that same place longer than any friendship you could ever make. I am 42, and I have had 20 girlfriends in my life, and millions of friends. Where are they all now?They are gone. All of them. Gone. Those friends I had when I was your age... 13-15... I haven't thought about them in 30 years... they are completely irrelevant. In 30 years, this girl you think you are so madly in love with, because you have never expanded your world much beyond you and her... in 30 years, you won't even want to remember her name. You'll laugh at yourself, how could you be so stupid and silly and shy back then. Because by the time you turn 20, 30, 40... you'll have had so many friends and girlfriends or boyfriends... that that silly relationship with that self absorbed girl in gradeschool... will seem like so much... nonsense.The best thing for you to do is... get away from her. She does not feel the same way as you, and even if she did, which she doesn't, it would not last. Not when high school comes along, and definitely not after that. She won't even remember you in college.Your best bet is to cut your loses now and not royally embarass yourself. Meet some other friends, get outside of that circle of her friends. Hang out with some different people. Don't become a stalker over her, or obsessed with her... simply because she was the first person to come up to you and say hello. Learn from her. In fact, you need to learn the most valuable lesson she was meant to teach you. How to go up to someone out of the blue, and say hello to them. You do it. You do it to someone else. I know its terrifying... grit your teeth, hold your purse tight, and just do it. Anywhere, everywhere. Don't be silly, or overly formal, or self concious. Don't even say hello. Just start talking. Talk about what's going on around you, or with them, outloud. If they are looking at some clothing in a store, say that's a pretty dress. If they are walking a dog, say you have a funny dog there. If they are sitting next to you in class, say something about the teacher, or that you forgot your stuff, or ask to borrow something, or ask them to protect your back if ninjas suddenly attack. Be funny, be friendly, and talk outloud. Remember, 2 out of 3 people you will ever meet, are MORE SHY THAN YOU. If they don't talk, when you talk to them, keep talking. If they reject you, which they never do, and cut you down (its never happened to me), then be ready with a zippy comeback like "I wasn't talking to you!" because you weren't, you were talking to yourself.Try it. Learn what your friend had to teach you. It was about kissing. Or about love. It was about how to say hello.
A
female
reader, She-Wolf +, writes (23 August 2011):
She-Wolf is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSorry,but im really in love with her.I mean since we change grades now i have 4 closes friends and 1 best friends.But I dont love any of my other friends just her.So Im not confusing my feelings.I REALLY LOVE HER.Oh an also for all of you who are asking why do i have school in the summer is because its a bording school so you can chose to have a vacation and come back or stsy snd take some special class.Oh also Honey is my roomate.Right now she's with her mom in france but there's only 1 week before school starts officially what should I do what should i say to her when she comes back.And what about the guy who confess to me and i agree to go out with him. :'(
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A
female
reader, LatinaChick  +, writes (23 August 2011):
 OMG. Lol i tottally understand u, i kissed my best friend once we were really drunk and we just made out loads and stuff and now im a lesbian lol but i was 15 at the time and now im 18, but dude i tottally understand i think the best thing for u to do is ... tell her u have feelings for her, to be honest she prob finds u cute, girls r harder 2 understand they wont just tell u they like u. they'll keep u guessing so the best thing to do is talk to her about it and ask her if she has any feelings for u. mmm but u defo like her more then a friend and its normal 2 have crushes on friends especially girls on girls coz u get so close. msg me if yu want any more help or anything :)
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A
female
reader, lerato29  +, writes (23 August 2011):
 i think you should face her running away wont help you,maybe she likes you,you need to sit down and talk about what happened once and for all coz this is going to affect your studies.face her and talk about it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2011): I don't do to big on the lesbian/gay situation, but i believe that you were just lonely, and when you became friends with her, you felt something you have never felt before, love. As i saw in your post, you were just shy. Maybe you should stop talking to "Honey" which will be the hardest part. I think you should try being more out going, and fine differen't friends. Maybe you might lose feelings for her. I hope this helps, I really do hope thing's clear up for you.
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