A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Why do I feel like this?I've been with my boyfriend a couple of months. I recently went to the doctor who said I was seriously stressed out (about various issues in my life) and has referred me for counseling. I'm not eating, sleeping, and feel teary alot of the time. I'm quite a strong person but recent events have worn me down completely.The main issue which I'm writing about is that I can't be intimate with my boyfriend. With all that has been going on he has been my rock, and has always been there for me, but it feels like we have fallen into the friend zone. Now I feel like if I was to be intimate, it would be me forcing myself, which isn't right.Should we cut our losses (I know I will lose him from my life completely) or should I try to make it right, but I don't know how? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (22 December 2008):
 If this guy is going to dump you completely because you need some help with your mental state from counseling, he's kind of a shallow person.
So do as Ginalolabridga suggests, and give counseling a chance. Tell him that you are suffering from depression and need some help and time to cope with it, that you are working as hard as you can on it. I expect he knows you've seen your doctor and that you've been referred for counseling?
This lack of desire isn't about HIM, it's about you and where you are right now. If you can't be intimate, you shouldn't force it, as it will end up with you resenting him. Would you force someone who's laid up in a hospital bed with major injuries to have sex? Um, I hope not. You're not in an actual hospital bed, but you are suffering and hurting as if you were. Give yourself permission to say 'no' to give yourself time to heal.
If he leaves you, so be it. Things may change when you start to feel better and get a handle on your stress and your life is back on track again.
Take good care of yourself, and don't NOT get help just because you think he may leave you. That won't help anyone, most of all you, and you need this counseling now.
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