A
female
age
41-50,
*ootyboot
writes:I can't stand being single anymore! I was involved with a guy for 9 months, not seriously but then he moved and our romantic relationship ended. It's been 3 months since he left and I'm still having trouble moving on. I know he wasn't that great, but it was better being with him than being alone.Everyone says "be happy with yourself and don't look" but I did that for years and it didn't work. Being with a guy is the only thing that makes me happy anymore, I am so desperate to find love again!!!I'm so depressed and anxious all the time, and afraid I'll never meet anyone. I'm 26, cute and fun, but it's not easy for me to meet guys and I don't meet many nice or good ones. Please someone give me some tips to get over this guy and find a new wonderful man! I feel like I'm losing it and I'm spiraling out of control. My life has fallen apart, and all over some dumb boy.Someone just tell me it will be ok. I need some comforting.
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female
reader, Sweetheart =) +, writes (12 December 2009):
 i dont have a boyfriend for 6 months but i am haveing fun with lots of boys :) just kissing and playing games. you could try it as long as you keep your pants on with those guys u wont be considerd as a slut.. lol good luck
A
male
reader, Advice_man +, writes (12 December 2009):
 Don't we all wish someday to find the ideal partner? But sometimes things don't come the way we wish. You have two choices. Find someone who is "just a guy", which i am sure it's not hard, who might not be the right one for you, but just for the sake of not being alone, or you put together all your strength and learn to enjoy life alone and if the right man comes along then that's fabulous! The second choice is harder to acomplish but once you do, you will achieve so much piece of mind and so much strength within. First choice is easier but after a while you might realize you are not happy again. Best of luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2009): And I just want to add that I feel the exact same way as you - it's a horrible feeling. To get company I have to go out nightclubbing with pals, but it's often after a few drinks that I end up looking desperate and kissing the first guy that shows me attention.
I don't have the answers hun, I just want u to know you're not alone.
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A
female
reader, Jendorset  +, writes (12 December 2009):
Some people put a smile on and seem fun and happy when secretly deep down they are miserable. I think that happens with alot of people. Like lazyguy said below try not to over do it. You will just seem desperate and i dont think desperate is attractive. I believe its true that you do find love in unexpected places and when you are not looking for it. I personally feel you should try to be happy in your own skin and on your own before you commit to a relationship. Theres a old saying that if you cant love yourself then how can anyone else. I think the problem is with you not being happy with yourself not that you need a man to be happy.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (12 December 2009):
 "I'm so depressed and anxious all the time" vs "I'm 26, cute and fun"
Do you see the conflict? You can't be cute and fun and depressed and anxious all at once.
People who are to desperate for a relationship tend to go overboard. Instantly unleashing all their affection right at the start. This tends to put people off. It puts to much pressure on them. When they are still trying to figure out how they feel about you, you are already thinking of baby names.
It also ignores the fact that we like to conquer our loved ones. What is there to seduce in a girl who says yes to everything?
So, the old, "be happy with yourself and don't OVERDO the looking" still applies. If you don't, then you will continue being depressed and that is hardly a great way to attract a decent guy.
Find some other release for your need to show affection. Get a pet. No, it is not the same thing but when you need to cuddle something a cat is better then the first guy to give you the time of day.
There is someone for everyone, but you can't spend every day of your life waiting for them because if you do that, you will be far to depressed to notice them. Afterall when you are depressed are you really looking?
And if you weren't as desperate, you might have noticed this guy wasn't in it for the long term and avoided a whole lot of hurt AND wasted time. To be mean, while you were so desperate to go after this guy, another guy who was the right one might have passed you by.
Desperate girls tend to attract the kind of guys who can only get desperate women. Not exactly what you want right?
You might also want to look into wether there are other causes for your depression. It might be more then just a broken heart.
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